My brain got deep fried. I'll cease to think and analyse. Besides giving advice, I should only think and analyse when asked or it's a life and death situation. If not, I'll keep my mouth shut.
Maybe I shall not help people all the way. I should give my advice, and that's it. I wanna stay close and yet far away from the youths.
Last night, I stood at the window pane, I can't help but ask God, 'Help me, will You? I beg you, help me.' Everytime whenever I'm sad and I happen to be in my room, I'll sit by the side of my bed and stare into the sky. It's like me looking up at God. It only happens at night lar. If not by now, I'm blind already. lol.
I wasn't a tolerate girl in the past, perhaps that explains why I have no friends, so I changed. When I do, people take my tolerance for granted. Still, I tolerated. Last night, I just 'exploded' within. I thought to myself, 'Maybe this is the last help I would render."
I will turn into my i-dont't-care and i-don't-know mode.
Well, is 'hypocrite' this word for me? I wonder. All these while, I treated my friends and showed them ME. ME and nothing else. Maybe I'm wrong.
And when I don't like someone, that someone will know it. Unless he's a retard. He/She will sense something is wrong at least... I show people face, it's no EQ, not what an growing adult should do. I don't show it, be nice and tolerant, I'm a hypocrite. Great. So should I just go up to heaven now? I'll come down if I can to tell the world how it is wise to live your life. ok?
I don't know why some people have to sound so saint and perfect. Disgusts me so much.
I don't know why some people have to cause so much trouble and continue to be ignorant.
I think I shall learn from Liru, don't like, don't talk. HAHA. Nice strategy, stink. Why never teach?! tsk.
Is telling the truth to someone about another person, backstabbing? I wonder again. I did nothing but tell the truth. Is that considered? If I don't maybe I'll 'explode' within again. The previous time I challenged myself how much I could tolerate. Now I know how much. Maybe this time I shall challenge myself, how many times I can 'explode' within before I black out?
I don't offend you, you don't offend me. - Is this easy to follow?
I told Woody this, I'm a human too. I need someone (other than God) to be there for me just like how those people out there needed me for advice.
I really don't wanna tell people, don't ask me any advices unless it's a life and death situation. Because I know there are nice people out there. People who are true to themselves and people around them. I will wanna help those people if ever they need me.
Like I've said, I'm human. It's my natural instincts to tell myself to stop if I get hurt too much. No matter how many times the Bible says, "Love your neighbour as yourself.", I can't just let myself get hurt again and again. Humans love themselves more than other people, naturally.
Aiya, I don't know if I made sense lar. My brain's fried. I feel like eating Goreng Pisang.. suddenly.
Continue.....
My life, I run. Other people's lives, who cares. Ahhh. I feel a lot better. Now I shall be totally not complicated. I'll talk to you in a very mean way, if I don't like you. Meanie mean mean.. I'm mad. Too bored at work. I wanna post pictures, but don't know what's nice to post leh. =(
I'll probably not talk too much at cell, even if I see something wrong. Shut up, Char.
-zip-
hahhaha. Eh Woody! I'll still rant at you ok! Don't think you can escape... yours ears are mine! Surrender now. I'm too bored... Wei.. why are you always busy at work and I have nothing to do? And great, now Edwin told you what you're doing can let you earn tens of thousand.. Share with me lar.. Selfish. I know what company should I name yours if you join Edwin next time - Ed & Wood Shipmanagement Pte Ltd.
I'll go help you check if this company's name is taken. But I doubt so lar. So dumb. lol!
BIG BIG SUNFLOWER!!!!
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My first and only sunflower. -big grin-
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