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Thursday, August 10, 2006 @9:19 AM

I need time to adapt. I didn't know things would just get into me like that. I suddenly realise things isn't the same anymore.

Charlene, you had enough 'trying your luck'. When you say 1130, do it. Not even a minute late. I really don't like to wake someone up and start talking on the phone. I'd rather don't talk and just go to bed. hmmm.

I refused to ask what you did the whole day. I refused to start a conversation going. I refused. Just because you didn't wait for me. I'm that stubborn. Although it was my fault in the first place.

I ain't mad at you for not waiting for me further. I guess I spoke that way because I just suddenly realise, I'm not so 'loved by actions' like before. Because I'm the kind who'll climb over one's head. I need to start depending on myself, mean my words and act accordingly.

No more, 'later then say', 'aiya, he/she won't get angry one lar' blah blah blah.

I have.... me, myself and I. I knew I wasn't so lucky all the time. Now you've stepped back a lot, I realised.
When you backed off a little, I didn't notice and listen despite the times you told me outrightly.

All I need is time to adapt.

I'll buy my own food. I'll stop thinking that you'll still be awake even if I call later than the time I told you I will. I'll buy things only when I can afford it. I'll only eat, when I can afford it. I won't call to disturb and demand that you talk to me in the middle of the night.

I thought it'll be relaxing in this r/s (finally one), but I guess there's no relaxing r/s in this world. Fairytales won't happen, Charlene. Not even when you've found the perfect one for you. Be it that one girlfriend or BGR. SIGH.

This realization came too sudden, it just hit me like that. I won't take your niceness for granted. I'll try.

I'm not a sadist. I miss the times you cried to me. Those times gave me the feeling of a wanted person. I only miss the times you cried cos you were touched, you missed me, you were thankful for what I did and stuff along this line. Not the times you cried because you were sad, hurt or angry.

*

I went to SAFRA for some gathering Unc Hong organised. It was okay, just that everything were quite in a rush and stuff. No food prepared to munch, people didn't really quite get to chit chat with one another, games were mainly for the adults to play with the kids (speaking from a youth's p.o.v -point of view).

After which, went for lunch (ate nasi lemak) and headed for some dog and fish farms. The puppies were SO CUTE CAN?! I want all of them! But I know they'll grow up to be not-so-cute. Just like my dog. Innocent face, violent attitude. TSK.

I like tame ones like Maltese and Szhi tzu (i think the spelling is wrong, but you get what I mean lar. =D). I like Silky Terriers too. But Terriers are quite active, like my dog (but I think my dog's insane lar.).

Oh!!!! We saw a parrot! Very smart one in fact! It whistled at us when we walked thru the door. When we wanted to take a picture of it, it'll 'siam' the camera left and right, up and down. DAMN CUTE. Tab and I were laughing like mad. hahah.

I thought it was just a hand gesture that the owner trained it to look it. I tried the same gesture w/o holding my phone, it didn't move. I tried with my phone, it did the same actions again!! hahha. I tried it several times! It isn't coincidence! Really, damn cute.

It had a reason to be proud lar, the feathers were so colour full. Bright and healthy (cos it was jumping around in the cage, very active). =DDD

I wanna go to the farm again. I love seeing cute animals. =DDD

*

I kept thinking it was Sat ytd because of the PH. I was watching SI, sigh, getting bad to worse. Nothing really to comment on. Those can't sing, still can't sing. Those who could sing, didn't sing their best. That's all.

*

Should be going for the fireworks this Friday! =DDD Anyone interested? hahhaa.

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& PROFILE

Charlene Rachel Lee
28 Dec
Msn/Email:charach@gmail.com

& LOVES

.ANDY.
.ANN.
.BOON BIN.
.BRYAN.
.CINDY.
.ISAAC.
.JIAN LONG.
.JOCE.
.KAIMIN.
.KAY.
.LOI.
.LYDIA.
.MEI QING.
.ROY.
.RUOHAN.
.SALTSHAKERS.
.SARAH.
.SHA.
.SHU TING.
.SOKYIN.
.TAB.
.VON JIE.
.WEI HAO.
.WOODY.
.YVONNE.

& SPEAK