to find that it's morning again.
to go to school.
to see you and realise that whatever i say means nothing at all, but to prove it.
to repeat the process of taking the lift up and walking on that corridor alone.
to see that perhaps we're actually miles apart.
to know that i can't say anything though i know the end result of something.
I'm not sure if I'll be happy when everything's over. I'm not sure if it'll be all worth it.
*
I just came back from celebrating Yvonne's birthday! Der, Joce and I went over to her place at 12am and suprised her with a cake! hahhaha. It's been so long since I or everyone slacked over at her place. Kinda miss her nagging and her offering us TEA every hour.
I'm so glad she's coming for church camp. I can't wait for camp, I can't wait. Port Dickson, here I come! I really need a breather. I need to get OUT of Singapore.
I used to travel every single year to Malaysia or somewhere further during the holidays. Ever since I entered into Poly, I've not been to any holidays with my family. This is because the holiday periods are totally different, there wasn't even a time where my brother and my hols clashed nicely.
I need a break.
*
I'm still here blogging because... I don't wanna sleep. Why I don't wanna sleep? Read the above first paragraph, you'll understand.
Have you ever reached a point where, you really felt like crying all out, but there were no tears? It's an awful feeling. It's like you're hurting inside, and the only way to vent it out is to cry but you just can't?
I'm not talking about people who has given up on something and they stopped crying over it. I'm talking about, being cold blooded and insensitive to the things that happens.
I think I've reached that stage where, I have no expressions of emotions. I just feel like numbing myself, killing myself, stabbing my heart literally. When I was in the lift on the way up just now, I asked myself, "Why am I still here? Can't I just not be here?"
ARGH, I'm feeling VERY frustrated and irritated with myself! WHAT STUPID FEELING AM I FEELING NOW?!?!?!?! It's damn f-irritating and I can't get rid of it!
I need the four letter word.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I need love, your love.
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