I took this opportunity at church camp to get back together with God. Something that I wanted to do for the longest time, but I've been procrastinating.
I laid down my biggest burden at the foot of the cross, and I prayed the longest prayer to Him. I guess God really put in a lot of effort just to get me to be dependent on Him. I've never been really dependent on anyone, perhaps the way I was brought up. I seldom run to my parents for help, I used to solve them by myself. So, that's probably why I had no reason to lean on God.
I can say one lesson learnt is that when things are beyond your control, God is in control.
On the bus ride back to Singapore, it was drizzling. The windows got blurrer and blurrer, and I was thinking to myself, what I can't see, God can see. And I wanna believe that God would never leave His children in tears.
"The Lord gives, the Lord takes away." - It will be painful when He takes something away from you, you'd rather not have it in the first place. But when He give you something back in future, it'll be able to make up what you've suffered losing what you've lost, in fact, you'll be thankful He took it away in the first place.
Thanks to this special her for telling me, "Nothing is a mistake, how can you (meaning, me) be a mistake?"
Back to the bus ride, I was listening to one song Yvonne sent me the other time. I really loved the lyrics, I just felt so secure and calm.
Making a Certain Breakthrough - Ruth Ling
In my life of searching for the plain and simple way
Many paths were so winding, the roads were never straight
Then the Spirit of God broke through and healed my broken wings
And showed me the way into His heart
And I know that God is leading in a clear and certain way
My one life for Your purpose, Jesus
I offer up this day
To follow You completely
To do all that You say
Cleanse my life, fill me up, use me this day
Make a certain breakthrough, make it today
In these of days of danger, Lord, we rest upon Your grace
With Your tender and skillful hands
You shape this stubborn clay
Yes, You calm my inmost being, giving courage to hope again
And to build this one life in power and faith
I bolded the words that spoke to me.
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The easiest thing is to be happy, but the hardest thing is to be truly joyful.
I hope you people will have a Merry Merry Christmas! I'm keeping my fingers crossed, keep praying for me. =)
Thanks Yvonne for being able to relate to what I was going through. Don't ask me what is it, because I most likely won't tell. No one in the world knows 'cept God and Yvonne. It's just my own problem I have to deal with God. That's about all. =)
I wanna be able to stand up one day and tell the world, I love God. I won't say it so loosely now because I feel that I'm not fit to say I love God. I think and honestly think that I still love myself more. Yup, haha.
Grant me a good night's sleep tonight, Father.
=)
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