I think as you grow older, Christmas, CNY, V-Day, Birthdays (even your own) etc, don't seem too important anymore. I really can't be bothered about getting presents and stuff like that. I mean, it's beginning to be just 'another day' to me.
Although it's a good excuse to get together with some of your friends. Sometimes I wish I was that sociable. hahaha.
I've been really busy these few weeks. Appts packed back to back, sometimes overlapping that I have to forsake some of them. I complain that I haven't got the time to breathe, but on the other hand, I just want my days to be packed and more packed! I don't wanna rest, I don't wanna be doing nothing.
I'm someone who thinks a lot, sometimes too much. I don't want myself to have the time to think, I just wanna be busy! Run here and there, whenever I have free time, I'll sleep. No worries in a sense. Good eh?
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I'm trying to lean on God, I really want to. Sometimes things are not within your control, and you just have to lean on Him for the right paths and answers. However when I become solely dependent on God and no one else, things right now are gonna change. I don't know the future, but I just wanna place it in my Father - who won't let me down in any way.
I'm really glad I went for the baptism service. I'm really glad, and I knew after it that God wanted me to be there. I wasn't really touched by the testimonials to be honest, because I've heard too much and it's kinda cliche to me now. But, that didn't stop God from touching my heart.
I just looked around, and thought of that sentence, 'everything cannot be just a mistake or coincidence' that so many people's lives in that small baptism area have been changed by Him. I've always thought I was a very strong girl, every obstacle, every heartache, every broken friendship, every fight with parents, every trial, I was able to live through it or sometimes live WITH it. I was wondering how come I didn't have depression or give up hope in life.
I realised, subconciously, I have been telling myself all these years (be it whether I really believed it wholeheartedly or not), God is in control. It was God that I could have hope again no matter how much disappointments hope has brought me. It's not because I'm strong, it because I have God. It is not a mistake or coincidence that millions of people in the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ on this very day that I'm blogging this post.
This time it isn't just a high feeling I'm having, I know it. It's not like I came back from some super rock Christian concert/rally that I'm feeling this way. It's a feeling that you can't really put it in words. You just wanna love God, because He's the only one that deserves your everything. And you know what's the amazing thing? He doesn't force you to give Him your everything, He left you with the freedom to choose.
"Lord, I want to love you."
I believe God will give me the best of everything in my life. If you can't accept something in your life/ in someone else, then don't. If it is God's will that you accept it, you will accept it someday without any pain. If it's God's will that you don't accept it, He will replace whatever that's causing His little child to hurt.
=) I'm happy in my Lord's mighty hands. I hope you will be, too.
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I have this weird habit, I like to talk to God looking out of the windows - up in the skies. Or if I can't see the sky, I'll just look up. I don't know why.. hmmm, I can just sit there for hours talking to Him about everything, my deepest thoughts that human sometimes don't have the time or patience to listen. If someone asks me who's my perfect man for marriage, my answer'll be, no one. But by God's grace, there will be that someone. hahaha. You understand what I'm saying? Nvm if you don't. lol..
Will I get my biggest birthday present tmr?
God bless. =)
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