Sometimes it might not be a bad thing to not be able to take control of your own life, I feel. Life gets tougher as we grow older, things that weren't existent in the past, exists now. Sometimes if you have someone to control what you should do and not do, you might not be that bothered with life. You just learn the art of following and obeying. Humans are weird creatures, I guess we're always feeling miserable because we always want the impossible. We will always want things we don't have or can't have.
Though I still haven't learnt the art of following and obeying, I've learnt the art of letting go and not bother about things that you can't do anything to change it. Yeah, it's really true to say some things, the harder to hold on to it, the further it'll drift apart from you. Not everything you can succeed just by TRYING. Just like the importance of you to someone.
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
You shouldn't make someone your everything, when you know you aren't worth anything.
*
There was one point where I was really tired, but I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't, thus resulting in my disrupted body clock. For the past week, I actually felt tired. hahah. I was quite happy that I did. Now, I guess I'm back to my insomnia. =D Exams, exams and more exams. When is enough, enough?
The past weeks, I didn't feel like eating anything. I could go without food the whole day and not feel hungry even on the next day. I just drank water and feed myself with biscuits occasionally. My appetite has gone smaller, significantly smaller. I couldn't even finish the plate of chicken rice in school, I ate only half of it. What's happening?! After all these, I feel frustrated with myself for being so... so.. hmmm, weak. When I'm frustrated/down, I don't eat (kinda weird huh? normally ppl binge when they are upset, i'm just the opposite. haha.) or don't feel like eating. And this whole vicious cycle repeats itself, again and again.
This cycle is irritating those who love me, I know. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm like this either.
Goodnight, world.
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