Little White Dress

MOVED AGAIN.

2007-03-19T14:56:00.000+08:00

Moved to http://charach.livejournal.com

I've stated my reasons there. =)

Sorry forthe trouble of having to change your links! =)

Take care peeps!

Bye Blogger!

I'm doing fine...

2007-03-16T03:02:00.000+08:00

=) I'm doing fine. Will take more pictures next time and load up. Provided I look nice enough to put it up here. hahahhaha. To show that I'm doing fine. I'm suppose to get up at 8am in the morning later, and I'm still here. Gosh.

Have been crazy over sprees. Bought a whole lot of stuff, there are still more on the way! =D Shopping online can save like a million bucks. lol.

Took this during work, You can see how bored I am.. =( When there's no customers, esp during off-peaks..... you can just die of boredom.

Off to lala-land. See you guys again!

Min!!!! I miss you! =)

Work and Work.

2007-03-07T00:37:00.000+08:00

Sorry guys, I haven't been updating for a very long time I know. Alright, I'm just plain lazy. lol..

Work has been alright so far, made great friends there! =D Working is only enjoyable when you have nice company. =) Esp so for sales line, I feel.

Till the next post, I'm going to sleep already! Yawns. =)

Take care.

busyyyy

2007-02-16T23:56:00.000+08:00

busy week. no time to blog.. so i'll skip all the caps and stuff. hhahaha.

alright, let's talk about work today. i was suppose to be in for work bright and early. i set my alarm, told myself i cannot be late. hahaha. i was to be in by 1015, 15 min before my shop actually opens for business. the 15 mins is for cleaning of the shop and stuff like that. guess what time i woke up? 1015am. HA. 'SHIT!' was the first thing i said when i opened my eyes and stared at the wall clock in front of me. i went to brush my teeth, change etc and got on a cab at 1025am. that was my fastest record ok!

took a cab down and told my boss my alarm died on me. i think she won't give me early shifts anymore. boo. serve me right. but i really didn't know why my phone didn't ring! =((((
*

anyway, CNY is coming, i have no new clothes! well, i just didn't buy clothes that were meant for CNY that's all. but i still have clothes that i haven't worn. maybe i can wear them on CNY. hee. good to buy clothes on a regular basis!

my hands are itching on mahjong! gonna meet my cousins soon!!! every year we would have our own table. heee. just nice, four cousins. no more no less. =))) my dad and all the other aunties and uncles will have their PRO tables. we throw 10 dollar notes on the table after the game when paying up, but their notes are way bigger... tsk tsk.

i wonder when will i get to play till that standard. i still can't read other ppl's cards! like guess what cards they want. grrr. i'm still far from GOOD, what more PRO.

alright, i'm tired. turning in soon. see you guys soon and HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! =)

oh ya! i'm meeting Mel and gang for mahjong on the second day of CNY! Whee! great food too, specially cooked by her mom! =)

NIGHTS!

Nonsense.

2007-02-05T14:46:00.000+08:00

Haha, some ppl just don't know how to be true to themselves. The things that they 'don't like' to do, happens to be the things they CAN'T do because of parental disapproval etc. Now I see someone repeating what I've said in the past. ha.
*
Anyway......
I was working this whole week, have been going home late. hahaha. Met up with Joel, Der and Roy on friday. Holland V. All of them drank, so I had to be the driver to send Joel and Roy back! hahahha. I hate beer, it sucks. (I can say it here because Joel doesn't read my blog. lol)

I called my mom before I met them after work, hahhaa, the funniest sentence she asked me was,

"you tell me for what?"
So I said, "so that you know i'll be home late?"
She laughed and replied, "things you have to tell me you don't, this kinda thing don't have to tell me one you tell me. don't know what you doing." Nice broken english huh.

Hmmm, so weird, my parents don't really bother what I do nowadays, which is good I guess.
*

I was asking my mom the other day how come she became so kiddish nowadays. She said all these kiddish stuff has always been there, but they cannot always look like a clown because she had to pull a stern face in order to discipline my brother and I.

She sighed and said, "You're already 20 this year, going 21 next year. Going to take the 'key' already. I can afford to be like this because it's a burden off me. I don't have to discipline you all that much anymore, your character and stuff are more or less fixed already."
*

I have been doing a lot of online shopping nowadays. hahhaa. I come home late, plus I surf the net for online deals and sleep at 4 plus everyday. I wake up like 12pm. My body clock is crazy. If I wake up at 10am, I'll tend to doze off in the afternoon! bleh.

Alright, I can't type more, have to report for work later! I'm going to bathe! =)

I'm going to improve myself by learning more stuff, I don't wanna be a BIMBO - nice on the outside, nothing on the inside. hahhahahaha.

Oh ya, Tab's an idiot too. She loves me only when I have the car and only when I'm working ($$$).

Life's good when you know who really loves you and who doesn't. My life's good! =)
BYE! =)

Diet Check

2007-01-31T00:07:00.000+08:00

I'm eating good today! I've been a good girl. hahhaa. =D

Diet Check for today:
1 cup of milk
2 chicken wings
1/4 cup of coke
1/3 of fries
1 slice of cheesecake

And I didn't feel like vomitting! Well, maybe I did force myself to swallow the 2nd chicken wing because I knew I had to eat. Good improvement.

Not really having insomnia already, but still sleeping at weird timings. bleh.

Met up with Tab today and slacked in town till about 11 plus before heading home. Hmmm, she couldn't stay at my place because she didn't pack her room! BAH. Had a good talk with her. =)))
*

baby, i'm amazed by you. ha.

Diagnosed - Anorexic

2007-01-28T14:59:00.000+08:00

I'm diagnosed half anorexic and half bulimia. hahah. More to the bulimia side because my body is starting to reject the food I eat - poly friends should know I visit the toilet more often nowadays after meals. It's also the reason why I feel nauseous after eating a proper meal. So, there. =) It's a mental disorder (well, that's what my nurse friend said - Joanne.)

Yes, I feel good not eating. Insomnia is also one of the symptoms that there's something wrong with my body. At least Joanne said I'm not that bad because I admit that there's something wrong with me, cos she said some serious case ones normally denies it.

I'm fine, just have to follow the nurse's instructions and TRY to start eating in small portions. Like drink healthy and filling drinks - soya bean drink.

And Tab, NO, don't be like me. It's not a good feeling, you'll feel very messed up.

Hmmm, it was only after lunch today that Sarah told me she could tell something was wrong with me. Cos I wasn't eating at camp. Even if I did, was like one plate of fruits.. SHARED with someone else.

It's not a big deal, really. Don't nag me k! =)

Bye, enjoy hols!

Life gets tougher.

2007-01-23T02:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it might not be a bad thing to not be able to take control of your own life, I feel. Life gets tougher as we grow older, things that weren't existent in the past, exists now. Sometimes if you have someone to control what you should do and not do, you might not be that bothered with life. You just learn the art of following and obeying. Humans are weird creatures, I guess we're always feeling miserable because we always want the impossible. We will always want things we don't have or can't have.

Though I still haven't learnt the art of following and obeying, I've learnt the art of letting go and not bother about things that you can't do anything to change it. Yeah, it's really true to say some things, the harder to hold on to it, the further it'll drift apart from you. Not everything you can succeed just by TRYING. Just like the importance of you to someone.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

You shouldn't make someone your everything, when you know you aren't worth anything.

There was one point where I was really tired, but I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't, thus resulting in my disrupted body clock. For the past week, I actually felt tired. hahah. I was quite happy that I did. Now, I guess I'm back to my insomnia. =D Exams, exams and more exams. When is enough, enough?

The past weeks, I didn't feel like eating anything. I could go without food the whole day and not feel hungry even on the next day. I just drank water and feed myself with biscuits occasionally. My appetite has gone smaller, significantly smaller. I couldn't even finish the plate of chicken rice in school, I ate only half of it. What's happening?! After all these, I feel frustrated with myself for being so... so.. hmmm, weak. When I'm frustrated/down, I don't eat (kinda weird huh? normally ppl binge when they are upset, i'm just the opposite. haha.) or don't feel like eating. And this whole vicious cycle repeats itself, again and again.

This cycle is irritating those who love me, I know. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm like this either.
Goodnight, world.

When will you think is enough?

2007-01-20T00:16:00.000+08:00

Taking a rest for a while. =)

In the mean time, take care!

p/s: I know it's very ugly, but well, I seldom take solo shots.. So bear with it. heh. =)

Loves. For my dear girl.

2007-01-17T02:26:00.000+08:00

A special post to my dear girl.

Thanks for always being there. Don't ever think you're useless and can't do anything to help me, ya? Even if you stand by me and don't say anything, you're of the greatest help ever. Sometimes my complicated mind just needs a simple mind like yours to solve things - the simple way. Opposite compliments each other. That's the way it is! =) Muacks, and I love you too my dear.

Be it whether rain or shine, stay with me. Alright? I will too, for you. -hugs-

Bear hug!

Kisses.

Last but not least, a kiss for you to thank you what you've given me that money can never buy. =)

*

I love you, Night. I really do.

Time to let your brains do the work

2007-01-10T21:01:00.000+08:00

It's a pity we humans don't even use even 10% of our brain.

"They are simply doing what they want, just let them be." - it's nothing comforting. but it's comforting because i know someone agrees with me.

Live for God and not for men. - you'll find joy in the things that you do. =)
God sees your heart's intention, and not what you do/ achieve at the end of the day. =)
*

I have a test this coming friday. Hmmm, and I have no idea what's it all about. I wanna give up studying for it. I didn't know our term would end so quickly, I thought I had time to catch up on what I've missed before the hols! dead dead dead - just like what Min would always say. hahaha.

It feels quite good to be home early after a long time. I have tuition tmr, I' m so dreading it. The worse thing is, I have a test the next day! Should I cancel it? We'll see.
*

Without You by Mariah Carey

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it's only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
if living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

Well I can't forget this evening
Nor your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore

This is a very old song by her. I have it in my music player, I knew it was a love song but never paid much notice to the lyrics. Till I came across it on someone's blog, and I realised it's such a sad song.
*

I need loads of prayers on certain things, hmmm. Pray that my prayers will be answered k? =))

Dumb tag.

2007-01-07T00:39:00.000+08:00

Layer ONE-
On the OutsideName: Charlene Rachel Lee Xue Ling
Birth Date: 28/12 (that's all you need to know, haha.)
Current Status: Attached
Eye Color: Medium brown
Hair Color: Light Brown
Righty or Lefty: Right
Zodiac Sign: Rabbit

Layer TWO - On the inside
Your Heritage: You won't wanna know
Your Fears: Getting hurt
Your Weaknesses: Many, because I have almost nothing I'm good at
Your Perfect Pizza: How many million times I have to say I don't like pizza?

Layer THREE - Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: "How I wish I didn't have to wake up..."
Your Bedtime: Definately past 3am
Your most missed memory: There are a lot of things I missed, hmmm, was just thinking about going to the airport to spend the night.

Layer FOUR - Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: I'm still wondering why Pepsi survived so long
McDonalds or Burger King: Fine with anything
Adidas or Nike: Adidas, for now
Lipton tea or Nestea: Earl Grey Tea (so out of point. hahaha)
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Both tastes the same to me. None, though. haha.

Layer FIVE
Do you Smoke: If you think I don't, you're probably right. =)
Curse: That depends what's your definition of 'curse'. =S

Layer SIX - In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: Yes
Gone to the mall: Yes, of course
Been on stage: If you knew what CCA I was in when I was in sec school, you'd know the answer.
Eaten sushi: Yes, I love it!
Dyed your hair: No, not in the past month. heh.

Layer SEVEN - Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: Yeah
Changed who you were to fit in: Yup

Layer EIGHT
Age you're hoping to be married: Maybe I'll end up not marrying at all? hahahha.

Layer NINE - In a Girl/Guy
Best eye colour: Doesn't really matter to me.
Best hair colour: As long as it suits him, I'm fine.
Short or long hair: Long hair - NEVER A YES

Layer TEN - What Were You Doing
1 minute ago: Writing this dumb thing?
1 hour ago: Opened the door to my house?
4.5 hours ago: Out
1 month ago: Waiting for exams?
1 year ago: Forgot

Layer ELEVEN - Finish the sentence
I love: to not smile
I feel: very very tired
I hate: heartaches
I hide: my thoughts well enough sometimes
I miss: you, you, you and you!
I need: God
*

Ah, I was thinking of what to blog, and I saw this dumb thing on Ann's webby. Hmmm. Just being a little nonsensical. I'm tired, but I just don't wanna sleep. I love the night so much that I refuse to sleep even when I'm really tired. I don't like light, what a pity.

Breathe
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence
Living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very Word
Spoken to me

And I, I'm desperate for You
And I, I'm lost without You

I like this song, when I sing it, I feel totally dependent on God. Sometimes you may not have a certain heartache or problem, but you just feel that you don't really know how to walk the path ahead. You're just fearful of the things that you might face? Hmmmm... I don't know.
*

I drove a lot today! Alone most of the time! I went to the petrol kiosk to get parking coupons, went to the post office to collect my driving license card, fetch my mother, drove to lavender for dinner, drove joce and the rest back to bathe before worship prac etc. =) Made me a happy girl.

I must be happy in 2007! Those unhappy stuff, be away from me! hahhaha.

Goodnight, while I enjoy my last day of holidays. I really wanna enjoy it before I start burying myself with all those exams and projects. =) Have a good good Sunday!!!!!

God hurts us, but He'll never harm us.

2007-01-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

Alright, I'm updating pictures (finally!) for what I've been doing. Hmmm.

To SGCC with Boon Bin and Min!

The last two pictures were actually taken from the kids' pool with a water play area.. I couldn't join them because I was having my period. heh!

Caroling! - 24/12/06

Last pic: MQ was presenting a gift the youth got from Thomson Plaza before setting out for caroling. We were divided into 4-5 groups, each group were suppose to get a small gift that represented/spoke about God. Then, present it to the hosts when we finish caroling at each house. =) I had a fun time travelling about with them! hahaha.

Church Camp - 18/12/06 to 21/12/06

Joce and I.

SomeUNGLAM sleeping positions. hahaha! (I'm so gonna get killed by Tab for this.) That's Lydia and Tab respectively.

The main reception view to the pool. It was bright and sunny when we got there and LEFT. The whole time it was raining WHILE we were there! I didn't even wet my swimming gears! grrr. I was still so excited because my period finished just before camp! We didn't even hit the beach. booo. I thought there was banana boat.

The camp was a nice getaway for me, at least I had some time to myself and stuff. I'm really glad I stayed with Yvonne, Joanne and Sarah. Peaceful apartment, so peaceful that MQ and Liru bunked in! lol.

I'm leading cell this week! While typing that msg to Joce, I was thinking if I could do it. Then I thought to myself, God will speak through me just like how He spoke through the rest when they led cell. heh. It'll not be Char who's leading, it will be God. =))))

""Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with you right hand you save me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; you love, O Lord, endures forever --- do not abandon the works of your hands." Ps. 138:7-8

God hurts us sometimes, but He'll never harm us.
*

Birthday 2006 - 28/12/06

I met up with Woody before meeting Yvonne and Der. We met up and ate Fish and Co.! =) We wanted to catch a movie, but the tickets we selling fast! booo, so we walked around PS. Thanks for the treats and present (Levis watch). =))

With Yvonne. Thanks girl, for always being there whenever I needed you. =) It's really amazing we could share so much despite the age gap. hahah! It's either I'm old or you're young. lol. I can never thank you enough. Love you, girl!

With Der. Thanks for turning up. =) One of my oldest friend around. haha. No, I didn't mean he was old, I meant the life span of our friendship.

Happy New Year to all! =)

I don't know what resolutions I made for 2006, obviously I didn't keep it. I shall not make any this year, what's the point of making them and breaking them in the end right? heh.

Looking back on my life, I must say that God has preserved me very well. There weren't problems I wasn't able to solve, heartaches I wasn't able to heal (though some are still in the process), quarrels I wasn't able to resolve, modules I wasn't able to pass (though I didn't do very well for some) and so on.

I'll just look at the things I have and be contented rather than look at the things I don't have and feel miserable. =)

Have a great year ahead people. =)

Birthday, Dragonfly and pre-2007

2006-12-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

I painted my nails! Went manicure with Joce just now. hahaha. I have nice nails finally! =D

I didn't have a big big celebration for my birthday, just some meet-ups. It's really nice. =) Thanks for those who made time for me. heh.

Clubbed at Dragonfly yesterday (this morning) with my ex colleagues. It's something special lar, they have performances in between the dancing. The songs they play are.... hmmmm, retro? Mostly adults lar, not many youngsters.. Not really my kind of song. But the performances are nice! I love performances.. the sexy dancers moving their bodies like they don't have bones and joints. Woah, nice!

Suprisingly I wasn't too tired today, I even went down to TP for a session of badminton with the SS! I drove on the expressway today! Yipeee! I don't really understand why ppl prefer to drive on small roads instead of expressways. On EW, they give way to you, but not in small roads. I don't understand why. grrr.

I'm blogging at Joce's house. I'll be staying over tonight. =)
It'll be the new year in one day's time! Not that I'm really excited about it.. because it simply means I have to go back to school real soon.

2/1 - Mahjong session!
4/1 - Tuition
6/1 - Dragonfly (again?) Not sure if I'm going, if I go, it'll be more for the sake of my colleagues. I just like the performances, can't really dance because I seriously enjoy RnB more. will see how la. =D

Just these three plans for 2007. Heh.

Off I go!
Bye!

Driving Test - PASSED.

2006-12-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

Wootssssss. I passed my driving test! I wanted to bold this, but I think I shall keep it down. Heee. It was raining heavily and persistently this morning, and I was super duper scared lar! Really. Cos I heard raining times and the earliest timing sure fail. Mine's the first session and it's raining! How suay can I get. When I did the warm up, I hit the kerb while parking can! I couldn't see the poles clearly.

And so, I uttered I think a million prayers before I finally got called up by the tester to my car. Anyway, I'm really glad I passed it on the first attempt!

That's my biggest xmas present. =) I still can't believe I can drive on the roads now, cos like suddenly TADAH! I can drive.

I didn't sound too happy when I first knew I passed. I mean, I thought to myself, I should pass it and I have no reason not to. Since it's AUTO. You can't change the fact that most people think it's a more inferior license. Hmmm, I don't know. nvm. It's over.

I just wanna thank God for it. =) Those who forgot to pray for me, now it's time you say a lil thanksgiving prayer to Him. hahahah!

Haven't got anything to blog, just came in to 'record' one of my biggest achievements. lol! Oh yeah, Mom said that she was even more nervous this time than the time I took my PSLE. -.-
*

Some random pictures!

Howard's baptism! =)

This was the apartment's living room I was staying in during church camp. That's me, writing something.. Sarah took this picture. heh.

Yvonne and I. Okay, I look really REALLY meaty in this picture. But hey, how thin is Yvonne! Comparison is always bad.......... BAD! lol. I don't care, I wanna live in denial. I'm slim. lol!

Goodnight everyone. =)

Merry Christmas.

2006-12-25T20:53:00.000+08:00

I think as you grow older, Christmas, CNY, V-Day, Birthdays (even your own) etc, don't seem too important anymore. I really can't be bothered about getting presents and stuff like that. I mean, it's beginning to be just 'another day' to me.

Although it's a good excuse to get together with some of your friends. Sometimes I wish I was that sociable. hahaha.

I've been really busy these few weeks. Appts packed back to back, sometimes overlapping that I have to forsake some of them. I complain that I haven't got the time to breathe, but on the other hand, I just want my days to be packed and more packed! I don't wanna rest, I don't wanna be doing nothing.

I'm someone who thinks a lot, sometimes too much. I don't want myself to have the time to think, I just wanna be busy! Run here and there, whenever I have free time, I'll sleep. No worries in a sense. Good eh?
*

I'm trying to lean on God, I really want to. Sometimes things are not within your control, and you just have to lean on Him for the right paths and answers. However when I become solely dependent on God and no one else, things right now are gonna change. I don't know the future, but I just wanna place it in my Father - who won't let me down in any way.

I'm really glad I went for the baptism service. I'm really glad, and I knew after it that God wanted me to be there. I wasn't really touched by the testimonials to be honest, because I've heard too much and it's kinda cliche to me now. But, that didn't stop God from touching my heart.

I just looked around, and thought of that sentence, 'everything cannot be just a mistake or coincidence' that so many people's lives in that small baptism area have been changed by Him. I've always thought I was a very strong girl, every obstacle, every heartache, every broken friendship, every fight with parents, every trial, I was able to live through it or sometimes live WITH it. I was wondering how come I didn't have depression or give up hope in life.

I realised, subconciously, I have been telling myself all these years (be it whether I really believed it wholeheartedly or not), God is in control. It was God that I could have hope again no matter how much disappointments hope has brought me. It's not because I'm strong, it because I have God. It is not a mistake or coincidence that millions of people in the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ on this very day that I'm blogging this post.

This time it isn't just a high feeling I'm having, I know it. It's not like I came back from some super rock Christian concert/rally that I'm feeling this way. It's a feeling that you can't really put it in words. You just wanna love God, because He's the only one that deserves your everything. And you know what's the amazing thing? He doesn't force you to give Him your everything, He left you with the freedom to choose.

"Lord, I want to love you."

I believe God will give me the best of everything in my life. If you can't accept something in your life/ in someone else, then don't. If it is God's will that you accept it, you will accept it someday without any pain. If it's God's will that you don't accept it, He will replace whatever that's causing His little child to hurt.

=) I'm happy in my Lord's mighty hands. I hope you will be, too.
*

I have this weird habit, I like to talk to God looking out of the windows - up in the skies. Or if I can't see the sky, I'll just look up. I don't know why.. hmmm, I can just sit there for hours talking to Him about everything, my deepest thoughts that human sometimes don't have the time or patience to listen. If someone asks me who's my perfect man for marriage, my answer'll be, no one. But by God's grace, there will be that someone. hahaha. You understand what I'm saying? Nvm if you don't. lol..

Will I get my biggest birthday present tmr?

God bless. =)

Back to God.

2006-12-22T01:01:00.000+08:00

I took this opportunity at church camp to get back together with God. Something that I wanted to do for the longest time, but I've been procrastinating.

I laid down my biggest burden at the foot of the cross, and I prayed the longest prayer to Him. I guess God really put in a lot of effort just to get me to be dependent on Him. I've never been really dependent on anyone, perhaps the way I was brought up. I seldom run to my parents for help, I used to solve them by myself. So, that's probably why I had no reason to lean on God.

I can say one lesson learnt is that when things are beyond your control, God is in control.

On the bus ride back to Singapore, it was drizzling. The windows got blurrer and blurrer, and I was thinking to myself, what I can't see, God can see. And I wanna believe that God would never leave His children in tears.

"The Lord gives, the Lord takes away." - It will be painful when He takes something away from you, you'd rather not have it in the first place. But when He give you something back in future, it'll be able to make up what you've suffered losing what you've lost, in fact, you'll be thankful He took it away in the first place.

Thanks to this special her for telling me, "Nothing is a mistake, how can you (meaning, me) be a mistake?"

Back to the bus ride, I was listening to one song Yvonne sent me the other time. I really loved the lyrics, I just felt so secure and calm.

Making a Certain Breakthrough - Ruth Ling

In my life of searching for the plain and simple way
Many paths were so winding, the roads were never straight
Then the Spirit of God broke through and healed my broken wings
And showed me the way into His heart

And I know that God is leading in a clear and certain way
My one life for Your purpose, Jesus
I offer up this day
To follow You completely
To do all that You say
Cleanse my life, fill me up, use me this day
Make a certain breakthrough, make it today

In these of days of danger, Lord, we rest upon Your grace
With Your tender and skillful hands
You shape this stubborn clay
Yes, You calm my inmost being, giving courage to hope again
And to build this one life in power and faith

I bolded the words that spoke to me.

*

The easiest thing is to be happy, but the hardest thing is to be truly joyful.
I hope you people will have a Merry Merry Christmas! I'm keeping my fingers crossed, keep praying for me. =)

Thanks Yvonne for being able to relate to what I was going through. Don't ask me what is it, because I most likely won't tell. No one in the world knows 'cept God and Yvonne. It's just my own problem I have to deal with God. That's about all. =)

I wanna be able to stand up one day and tell the world, I love God. I won't say it so loosely now because I feel that I'm not fit to say I love God. I think and honestly think that I still love myself more. Yup, haha.

Grant me a good night's sleep tonight, Father.

=)

The real me.

2006-12-10T00:52:00.000+08:00

I wanted to blog about the real me. Like who I really am on the inside. Guess I'll sum it up in one sentence.

I'm not what people have percieved I am, for the past 19 years.
I'm not strong, I'm not independent, I'm not cold blooded, I'm not emotionless etc.

*
In life, we have no right and wrong, I just feel that we just have to choose the most suitable options. Aiya, I think only I know what I'm talking about. hmmm.

Just like, there's no perfect man or woman on earth, you just have to choose the most suitable one for you. Get the drift?

*
I've been staying at Joce's place for the past two days. This is the second. hohoho. They are setting up monopoly now. And I'm suppose to play.

Okaay, they are rushing me.. better run. Bye!
Take care everyone. =)

Tab's nice.

2006-12-01T13:12:00.000+08:00

I would like to say how nice Tab is...

Tab is ......... er, nice.

Sorry.

2006-11-22T15:21:00.000+08:00

-GASPS!- It's been so long since I got down to blog...

I came in not to blog, hee. But to tell you all I won't be blogging still! hahha. I'm so sorry. =)

I'll just briefly state what I had been doing ya? I have had exams the last week.I haven't recuperated my lost of sleep. I've been watching Korean drama hee. I know it's so not me. I think the first drama I completed is 'Goong'. Which is one of the newest one now. hehe.

I'm starting on 'Full House'. I mean, started already. I still think Goong is better. More stories, more actions etc. Full house is just revolving one couple, which is Rain and his 'wife'. I think it's so popular because people think that Rain is freaking handsome. Hmmm, I don't really go for all these, so the shows that appeal more to me, has to have a very good storyline/plot. This applies to movies too. =) No matter how handsome or pretty the actor/actress is, I won't be satisfied with the show if the storyline is nothing but crap.

People used to ask me what kind of movies I like, I can generally name them - Horror, War etc. However, not ALL horror or war I'll like it. Because... (read the above.) haha.

As people know, I hate romance shows/books/stories etc. I have no expression when I watch any shows, be it horror or sad shows. I just sit there and stare at that black box like a piece of wood. BUT, I cried when I was finishing Goong!!! Hmmm. That main actress can really CRY.

All right, as I'll be busy with my school work, tuition, rushing my drama, trying to get to sleep an hour before I need to wake up etc, you'll see less of my entries. =) Well, maybe you will, but short and sweet ones and perhaps photos if I ever take any. =)

Goodbye!

I hope my Feb holiday will come true! Depends on that person. =))))

E-learning suck.

2006-11-09T17:56:00.000+08:00

E-Learning would only be fun when you're in secondary school or primary school. Where you don't get extra holidays. It's so not fun in poly! In poly, you more or less determine your holiday or public holiday. hahha.

E-Learning, you're forced to go on a holiday and forced to do those chunk of work the lecturers throw in your face. The feeling is not all that great. It's worse when you attempt the questions and the systems hangs on you. You will have to go through all the trouble of emailing or calling your respective lecturer to unlock the system for you so that you can try again. ARGH.

It doesn't take another genius to know that I'm caught in that situation. I'm now waiting for that damn lecturer to reply me on my email!!!! GRRR. My eyes are tired and strained from all the staring at the com the whole afternoon. I don't dare to go catch my nap. In case the lecturer replied me how??

Crazy bugger.
I mean, me.
*

Though I'm kinda stucked at home rushing all these shit and suppose to study for exams the next week, I feel loved and blessed! hahaha.

Things are very much back to where they were, good. I'm loving it! =) I still don't know what was the previous cause, but heck, everything's okay now!

Bought a pullover online, super cheap! L'oreal Double Extention Mascara online too! Brand new. =DDDD I'm too lazy to shop in shopping centres now. So packed, things are so much more expensive, still have to wait for fitting rooms etc. Online, everything's just a click away! hhaha.

My tuition kid's uncle, earns a living by selling antique notes and coins (mainly notes) on eBay. The notes aren't cheap okay. They have like what, bird series, which year which year, etc! Kinda cool huh. hahahaha.

*
Woody called me a 'bugger' last night before we hung up to go to bed. grrr. I told him I'll listen to the radio, it's better than talking to him - at least I don't have to reply the radio. Hung up, and my phone beeped. He sent me a goodnight msg saying, "Goodnight lazy bugger! You can call in the station and talk to the DJs if you want! etc.." I feel like strangling him on the spot. Bloody BUGGER.

I watched Prestige and Death Note recently. Both are nice. I can't wait for the second part of DN to start showing in the theatres! I wanna watch Stepup too! I love dancing shows. I like!

I think I'm weird. I watch chinese drama serials at night, but when the show gets too outrageous or when I watch it I feel like beating up the bad guy, I don't watch it at all. I wait till that 'angry' part is over, then I'll watch it. hahhaa. I just wanna see the bad guy gets it retribution!

That stupid boy says I'm nuts. I'd rather buy 8-days and read the story so that I won't get too worked up while watching because I already know the ending. hahhaa. Oh, I don't buy i-Weekly or the U zhou kan because I don't know how to read chinese. I was reading it at Woody's house the other day. I took like 15 minutes, and I was still stucked at the first paragraph. And what's worse, I don't know what I was reading! hahhaa. I could only figure out a little. hahha.

I'm a good girl these two days. I didn't go out at all. I'm gonna check my mail box to see if my mascara has arrived! hohoho~ =)

Bye and take care!

Vivo City, LW's Bday and Misc

2006-11-07T01:09:00.000+08:00

For some reason, the wireless connection in my house is poorer than when I leech on to someone else's. hmmm.

Anyway, met up with ling to Vivo City. It's just a big shopping centre where you'll want everything but end up not buying anything. Hmmm. I wanted to buy a bag sometime ago, and wanted to satisfy my what-if-vivo-has-nicer-bags feeling, I went. In the end, I ended up buying the one that caught my eye previously. bahhh.

To all people, life has been good for me. So don't worry. =) I'm fine and blessed with people like you guys, also a very nice someone... (hehe, you know who you are!)

It's the E-learning week! I'm excited because I don't have to dread waking up and go to school. But I don't wanna do all the assignments! =( And it's exams next week. I haven't started studying for any subjects. Someone please save/kill me.

Ehhh, I think I'm quite random in my thoughts now.

Oh oh! Just celebrated Ling's birthday on Nov 5th! Hohoho, it was quite a success I must say. =)

I met up with him in the afternoon, made him a scrap book (which is damn ugly IMO), bought a cup, two bottles of vodka and an edited photo and wrote a song behind it. hee.

After eating lunch and slacking around, I 'went home'. I boarded the bus and alighted at the next stop. hahaha. Took a cab all the way to JJ's house.

JL organised a suprise at JJ's house, everyone to be there before LW comes, including me. There were some 'glitches' that happened, but we were smart enough. hohoho. For the first time, I see a reaction in LW's face when he saw the suprise. hahhaha!

Okay, nevermind if you guys don't understand what I'm talking about. I'm kinda sleepy, but I wanna blog before I forget what happened. lol.

Someone's so old already. I'm still young! Always 18. =)

Have to get up at 8am tmr. Better get going. Goodnight everyone.

I don't wanna wake up

2006-11-03T02:33:00.000+08:00

to find that it's morning again.
to go to school.
to see you and realise that whatever i say means nothing at all, but to prove it.
to repeat the process of taking the lift up and walking on that corridor alone.
to see that perhaps we're actually miles apart.
to know that i can't say anything though i know the end result of something.

I'm not sure if I'll be happy when everything's over. I'm not sure if it'll be all worth it.

*
I just came back from celebrating Yvonne's birthday! Der, Joce and I went over to her place at 12am and suprised her with a cake! hahhaha. It's been so long since I or everyone slacked over at her place. Kinda miss her nagging and her offering us TEA every hour.

I'm so glad she's coming for church camp. I can't wait for camp, I can't wait. Port Dickson, here I come! I really need a breather. I need to get OUT of Singapore.

I used to travel every single year to Malaysia or somewhere further during the holidays. Ever since I entered into Poly, I've not been to any holidays with my family. This is because the holiday periods are totally different, there wasn't even a time where my brother and my hols clashed nicely.

I need a break.

*
I'm still here blogging because... I don't wanna sleep. Why I don't wanna sleep? Read the above first paragraph, you'll understand.

Have you ever reached a point where, you really felt like crying all out, but there were no tears? It's an awful feeling. It's like you're hurting inside, and the only way to vent it out is to cry but you just can't?

I'm not talking about people who has given up on something and they stopped crying over it. I'm talking about, being cold blooded and insensitive to the things that happens.

I think I've reached that stage where, I have no expressions of emotions. I just feel like numbing myself, killing myself, stabbing my heart literally. When I was in the lift on the way up just now, I asked myself, "Why am I still here? Can't I just not be here?"

ARGH, I'm feeling VERY frustrated and irritated with myself! WHAT STUPID FEELING AM I FEELING NOW?!?!?!?! It's damn f-irritating and I can't get rid of it!

I need the four letter word.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I need love, your love.

Be with someone...

2006-10-28T19:30:00.000+08:00

you can't live without.

I've already made my decision the following day. Though I still don't wanna say it, afraid that this decision might just be another one made on impulse.

*
It's already good enough to be with someone who doesn't hurt you. What more ask for someone who'll always make you happy? Greedy.

When will I be contented?! I didn't mean it, sometimes subconciously, I'd want more than I already have.

Look at what you do not have, you don't have everything. Look at what you have, you have everything.

I don't need someone who loves me, I need someone to know how to love me.
*

I can't join the girls for cell early anymore, because my tuition kid wants tuition on fridays. If cell's at Joce's place, I'll be able to go there after 9pm. I'll try asking the grandma if I can push tuition early by half and hour. That way, I'll end at 8.30pm.

Parents, Grandma, brother and I went to Bishan Park to bring my dog for a walk. Oh, my little Nicholas went too! The moment I met him, I carried him. He was holding my phone. After the got hold of it, he flipped it open and started calling his dad. -.- How cute. And he doesn't know which one is the reject button. So, whenever the ringing tone becomes the voice mail, he'll 'piak!' and close my phone. He'll open it and dial for his mom.

bahh. Cute right?! =) I think I have affinity with him, I'm not to attached to any of my cousins. Nicholas is one of the naughtiest lot, and he's really good at talking back! Just like me when I was young. I could talk before I could walk.

Nicholas' brother, Boaz, is really cute too! Hmmm, but I don't really like him that much. I don't know why. hahhaa.

I got to go! Bye! Have fun, it's the weekends! =DD

Edited,

I went to make Jap jelly just now! hehe. For church tmr, but there's only be 24 pieces. Grab it while it's cold! lol.. My mom didn't have enough mould for me, and there were limited supply of sugar. =( I bought two packets lor. It's okay, I'll leave it till next time.

It's quite easy to cook! But looking at the amount of sugar, I don't wanna eat more than one man...... The ratio of sugar and the actual gelatine is 20:1 lar.. It doesn't help further when gelatine is made up of animal fat. boo. Super fattening. blehx.

Blogger keeps telling me there's error in posting my entry. =( So , I'm just filling in some space, till it allows me to post. hahaha.

Let me try~

Matters of the heart.

2006-10-23T23:57:00.000+08:00

I shall blog pics another time yar. I don't really feel like blogging such a long post. hahahha.

I was just wondering why human beings are just so sway kuan? lol. They won't stop doing the wrong thing until someone gets hurt, gets scolded etc. They won't cherish the people they love until they lose them for good.

Isn't it easier to say 'I will do this this this...' than 'I should have done this this this'? I guess it's inevitable to regret on some stuff that you've chosen no matter how much you try to not regret what you've done. The only thing I've learnt from these is not to choose the path you're likely gonna regret later. THINK, CHAR, THINK.

*
Guys are quite dumb huh? Some you don't want them to come close to you, they pian pian will. Those that you want them to buy flowers for you, shower you with gifts and stuff, they DONT. wah piang...

Woody's quite dumb though. hahahaha!

I can't wait for church camp.. I can't wait to be with all my buddies, my childhood friends. Coming to think of it, I really miss Joel. Though I've not been msn-ing him... i miss him a lot!

Someone went into Youtube to play this guy playing the guitar during class. That guy was damn good. And I started thinking about the times where I could just sit opposite Joel and stare at him play the guitar for a very long time.

I think I'm quite dumb. I can sit there and stare at someone play any musical instrument for a very long time. BUT, the person cannot look too proud, cannot be a show-off.. somehow I can feel. The skills have to come out naturally. hahha. you know what i mean right? lol.

Enough said, I'm off. =)

Selemat Hari Raya. To my malay cousins too! Though they won't get to see this. heh.

Ann's Bday - Zouk

2006-10-22T00:48:00.000+08:00

Zouk for Ann's Bday. Didn't take a lot of pictures.. will edit this post tmr. See how FAT i am k?

To be continued....

Love ya girl, hope you enjoyed yourself. =)

Thick Haze.

2006-10-19T01:20:00.000+08:00

Stupid haze has been making my eyes dry. I hate it. When is Indonesia gonna stop burning the trees?

If Singapore looks like Genting now, I wonder what's it like in Indonesia itself?

Nathan's kinda cute. He came to ask me one question about Biz Stats at like 1am in the morning?

hahaha. He said he couldn't get to sleep. This is the first time I'm seeing people doing homework when he couldn't sleep. And it's not even homework, it's just some class work that he has done before and he's probably doing it again! hahah.

He told me he was tidying his bag - 3 weeks of rubbish. And his bag is like the postman's bag, damn messy. hahahah.

Cute eh? =D

*
I'm feeling kinda inferior now. hahhaa. I have flabby arms, big tummy and 'shaky' thighs. Grrr. Not a very good feeling. Help. Be careful with your words to me now. One more condemning sentence from you, I'm crushed. And then.... I'll grind you into powder for crushing my already low self esteem.

I'm ranting rubbish away now. I'm kinda tired. Guess I'll turn in.
=)

Oh ya, Ann! I have one more thing for you for your birthday! hahhaha. Wait and see. =) Nothing grand, but yeah. hahahha. shh.

Goodnight!

Tell me you love me.

2006-10-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

Can I say I love you without you doubting me?

Will you tell me you love me too?

*
I know I've been blogging stupid entries like these that you guys can't understand. I wanna express, but at the same time I don't feel like it. hmmm. You guys have to bear with it ok? =)

Think I'm fat and ugly these days, so haven't been taking photos. No more self confidence anymore. boo.

Gotta go! =)

disappoint me but hug me to....

2006-10-13T14:08:00.000+08:00

disappoint me but will you give me a hug to tell me i won't lose you?

plssss.

i want it badly, but it just wouldn't come out of my mouth to request for it.

i'm stupid or what?

losing you.

2006-10-12T23:25:00.000+08:00

just when i thought things was getting better.......

don't let me lose my grip on you.

don't disappoint me, don't.

*

Hope.

2006-10-11T00:52:00.000+08:00

Tired, yet don't wanna slp. I'm so afraid I'll wake up to find that I have to go to school. I guess this weirdness takes time, I'm waiting for that time it'll disappear. HOPE. =)

Have faith.

Things will get better. It will. It will.. It will..

=S.... Tell me it will? =S

*
Something to be happy abt, my tuition boy is making great improvements! He can read now! I was so scared that he can't read...

After a break of 6 months, people came back with lots of quarrels. tsk tsk. Is that how united people are?

I MUST BE HAPPY, I MUST BE CHARLENE.

Bye! =)

Escape Themepark!

2006-10-07T23:43:00.000+08:00

Wood and I went to the Escape Themepark today!!! Okay, I'm not suppose to sound excited. I know, it's a boring place, the most boring themepark in the whole wide world blah blah blah. hahhaa.

i had fun because of the company, not the place. -grins- i love to sit all the rides, BUT i have motion sickness. sheesh. i had a few turning ones, and i was almost dead. we went to sit the Wet and Wild. we were all drenched! stupid me had to wear a pair of jeans there.

i was bugging Wood to bring me out of that place already, but he wanted to try more spinning ones! two of the rides he went alone. the second last one he went up alone, and came down saying it wasn't giddy. so, I BRAVELY WENT UP.

oh my goodness. i died. i just sat there and stoned like i was gonna faint anytime while he sat the last ride. grrr, i hate motion sickness.

i've inherited the wrong things from my parents man. i inherited my white hairs, VERY fine and little hair from my dad when my mom has the thickest and healthiest hair around.
and i inherited my mom's motion sickness BUT i've got my dad's 'daring' genes. how can these two go together?! ahhhhhhh. kill me.

*
i finished my driving quite sometime ago. all together, i finished driving in less than 3 weeks. EVERYTHING. am i pro or am i pro. i'm now waiting for my test date to come. i've been going in regularly to check for earlier dates, hoping that some kind soul would give up a seat for me! hehehe.

*
i was talking to my mom just now, i think my tuition kid has some learning problem. he's primay one and he can't read. not even 'thursday'. i remembered i was already having spellings for monday to sunday during KINDERGARTEN!
he's primay one and he can't even READ the word.

i'll monitor for the next month and see if he has symptoms like my brother.

*
as you can see, i'm too lazy to caps my words properly etc. i don't really have the mood. i just want to pen down my daily happenings in case i wanna read what i did in the past.

one good sign, i'm going church tmr! my best refuge place, so far.

my eyes are dry because of my contact lenses. oh ya, i forgot to add, i have dry eyes like my mom. grrr. but the only good thing is that, my dad's eyes condition is worse than my mom's. lol..

daddy, is it true that all things will be solved once i lay them at the foot of the cross? will God help me even if Charlene was disobedient this week?

how i wish i was still a kid. how i wish i couldn't tell if the adults were lying when they tell me everything would be okay. just like the tv serials that i watch.

tell me everything is okay, dear. lie, cheat, bluff, comfort, console me, anything.

How I wish...

2006-10-03T00:35:00.000+08:00

Changes are not controlled by anything. Most of them comes naturally.

When I was so frank in the past, I wished I could change it away. Now, things have made me shut my gap naturally. And now, I wished I could open up like before, but I can't anymore.

Being quiet allows me to see more acceptance, I guess people do like to hear only the good stuff. You may argue that only good friends tell the truth and truths are often hurting etc. But you can never change the fact that being 'nice' is always a plus.

My soul seemed to have left me. Jul said I was looking distracted in school the other day. I was walking to the toilet and she tapped my shoulder, but I didn't respond. I wonder what I was thinking.

Today, during breakfast, Boon Bin asked why I wasn't talking. I really didn't know why, I didn't keep quiet on purpose. Just felt that there wasn't a need to talk.

What happened to Charlene?

*
Went for a singing session with my colleagues on sat. =)) They are organising one soon.

Okay, I'm trying to blog happy. Guess I can't continue. I feel very disgusted whenever I put a smiley face or an exclamation mark for being excited.

i'm thankful for you that you know me best.
in times like these, i can see for sure, who knows me best.

I thought we were One.

2006-10-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging lately. In the past, I'll blog especially when I'm unhappy. But now, if you don't see me blogging, means I'm unhappy.

School started and I'm not a little happy. AT ALL.

We agreed to go hand in hand, but I'm not included all the time. Forget it..
I'm starting to not feel comfortable like I used to. Starting to not like certain actions, so hypocritical suddenly.

I'm really glad I went for cell last friday. Realised that they are the ones who love me for me. Only them, are fit to tell me they love me.

Those who think I have Woody and therefore think I won't be free for anything, go back and think if you really know me. Don't assume.

Guess I'll be disappearing for quite some time again. =) I'm sorry.

"There's no difference, even when I try."

8th Sept 2006 - Last day of ITP!

2006-09-19T17:58:00.000+08:00

8th Sept 2006 - Last day of ITP!!

Same thing, captions below. =) Enjoy! Sorry that this entry came a little late. hahhaha.

My desk - It's a bit messy lar. Last day of work, I was too excited to start work, I just threw everything on my desk and started going around to take pictures! The system was down anyway, no one could do any WORK. =))

Take pictures from my seat.

This are the chocs we (EM and I) for our supervisor and colleagues. =) That white paper with the yellow top is a card we made for our supervisor.

Eik Moi.

Hazwan.
Both of them were too shy to face the camera. So I just had to take them from the back. boohoo.

The gift that my dept gave us! =) It was a plain polo tee inside. Sweet.

I was cam whoring in the toilet. I didn't realise my pictures all had a toilet bowl behind it till Woody pointed out to me! grrr. The above picture is the picture I took for number '7'. I did 1 to 7, and I gave up. Look so stupid. lol.

My shi jie - she was previously from my course, came to work with MPA after she graduated! She's quite young okay.. =)

Peter! - He's a funny guy, told him I was going for driving lessons, he told me a lot of his funny encounters! heh!

Wendy - She gave birth to a baby girl one year ago. =) I thought she was quite fierce at first, but after a while, she's quite friendly. She combs her hair after every meal I realised! hee.

Soo Ling - She's from my dept. I chatted non-stop with her while we were working in pairs at OSDC. We chatted till we forgot the time to go back after lunch! Very chatty!

Tian An - I keeps me company during working hours. haha! We would talk to each other via the company's email system. He forwards me those very interesting emails sometimes. =)

Celeste - The mother-to-be!!! She's giving birth in mid Oct. She's 'imparting' her skills to the new intern, so that he can take over her jobs(hopefully) when she leaves to give birth!

Bing Ying - We love each other! Whee!!! hahha, we were the closest as compared to the rest I feel. =) Very nice and cute lady! Fun to talk to, laugh till your stomach hurts. =D

Ms Chue - She's one joker! hahhaa. I mean not joker as in clown, but joker as in her jokes are super funny! hahhaa. Not old fashioned at all though she's not that young anymore.

Ms Teo - One of the very experienced workers here. Almost 20 years, very helpful towards us.

My supervisor - She would tell me about her daughter etc, I think she sees her daughter in me cos I'm about her daughter's age. LOL.

Lena - Very talkative, regretted not knowing her earlier! I only got to know her better in the last few weeks of my attachment there.

Derrick - He has lotsa lollipops on his desk! He planned to go to the children's home to give it away, but it was cancelled ... so that explains his pile of sweets. =)

Gosh, I forgot her name. I'm not very close to her. They said she's very fierce to the candidates! hahaha. I heard her speak on the phone once, yeah, FIERCE. lol. Got to know her at the very last minute too. lol.

Jwee Hoon - Hazwan's supervisor. She looks super fierce, that's why she did this 'peace' hand sign while taking this photo. hahha! Lena forced her. =X

Jean - Very quiet girl. I think. lol. Soft spoken I would say. She has the sleepy look all the time!

A group photo with them. How I wish I was attached to their departments. =( So much more fun!

There's also Juliet and Ms Tay from my dept, I didn't manage to take photos with them cos they weren't in office on my last day. =(((
I'll definately miss them, BUT NOT work! grrr.

*
I met Woody after that for a while. He had some farewell dinner. GRRR. Left me alone on the first day of freedom. =(

Those we some pictures we took. I insisted that I wanna see his teeth when he takes photos. He has a nice set of teeth! Can't understand why he doesn't like to smile. Grrr, I'd always have to say, 'I wanna see teeth ar!' Then I'll wait till he smile then I snap. If not, I'll just hold the camera up and WAIT. hmph!

*
I've been to grandma's house to stay, and went for a suprise Woody brought me to. I'll upload them again! =)

I passed my FTT and my Stage 2 for my practicals! WHEE~ I'm now doing my Stage 3, a few lessons more, I can book for my TP! =)))

*
Hmmm, there are some issues I can never blog it out here. It'll stir up a lot of arguements. It's about my religion. I don't wanna make the weak falter and the strong start to doubt their religion. I guess Liru and MQ would somehow know what I'm talking about. The things I ask, no one can answer. Only when I get to heaven, then I'll know when I ask Him myself.

The people around me makes a big difference in my faith too. I know that shouldn't be the case, but hey, I'm human. Perhaps that's an excuse for me to rely on human, but.. aiya. nvm. I don't know, I'll choose not to think about it. =)

I can only hope the two closes to me, will pull me up when I can't hold on any longer. Right now, I know they can't. Remember I don't need model answers? I don't need them to tell me God is my refuge, my encourager blah blah blah. You get me right? I just hope when I become weak, they'll be strong for me. Sigh.

Alright, I'm going off. School's starting next week! heee. I don't know to be happy or not to be. When it's the hols, you can't wait to get back to school. But when it's school, you can't wait for hols. GRRR. The grass is always greener on the other side huh.

It's BBQ tmr! =)

Passed Stage One!

2006-09-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

I've been driving EVERYDAY for the past whole week. I'm only resting this Sunday - which is tmr. =D

I've not been taking photos etc, too busy I guess. heh. I'm just gonna blog a short one, to update you guys abt what has been going on.=)

* Met dear Ann for Sumo House yesterday (friday). We didn't take a lot of photos because we were too busy catching up! I'm really glad she's enjoying life now. I think this suits you more. =)

* Have been meeting Woody on and off, sometimes for a long while, sometimes for just a couple of hrs.

* Driving has been fun, passed Stage 1 already. Just did my first prac on Stage 2. Whee! =) I hope I can clear this driving thing fast. Grrr. I don't wanna be fretting over the time slots for too long when school starts, which is 25th Sept.

Holidays are fun when you have something to do. When there's nothing to do, it's just really boring.

The mini skirt I bought online, the seller took so many days to post it. I got so fed up and asked her to transfer back the money if she's not sending it soon. She emailed me to say that she has already sent it. Great, I have to wait till Monday or even Tuesday before it comes.

Oh ya! I got the golden Novo shoes that I lost previously. The previous bidder won it, but wanted to exchange it for something else the seller auctioned. So, I get to bid it again! She closed the auction period early, so not to let any other bidders bid. hee. So nice of her. But the shoes has been giving me blisters. PAIN~

Most friends has been going through rough patches these days, I wish you guys well. I'll be here if you people need me ok? =)

Bye guys. =)

Pics for 9th Sept '06 - Miramar Hotel

2006-09-14T12:28:00.000+08:00

9th Sept 2006 - Miramar Hotel

Alright, pictures as promised, though a little late. =X I'll let the pictures do the talking ok?
Captions below.

The books we bought using the Borders book voucher I got from MPA (each of us got a book prize after ITP). I finished the book already, it's quite nice. First book I've finished. lol.

We took quite a lot of pictures at the bench at Wheelock Place. I figured that all of them were about the same pose, same place and same look - I didn't post more. Just this one. =D

REACHED THE HOTEL ENTRANCE.
While waiting for 7pm to strike, we were acting like some tourist, taking photos outside the hotel. -.-

See?

This was the best shot of the day. hahah. I think mainly cos you guys can't see our faces. LOL.
But artistic right??? It's considered good, coming from me - no artistic talent AT ALL.

IN THE HOTEL LOBBY.

We took some pictures, then he played his PSP, I read my newly bought book. =)

IN THE RESTAURANT.

This was the first dish, supposed to be the best salmon sauce. It was only so-so for me. Not much to my liking though. =D

Tempura Mixed.

"Pregnant fish" - I know how to say it (the actual name for it), but I don't know how to spell it. hahah.

The hotpot - I don't think it's called steamboat right? hahaha.. It's just soup and fish. Woody liked it a lot, but not really for me. It tasted a little weird.

Cha Soba - Cold noodles! Only one mouthful. grrr. hahha. Ten times nicer than SAKAE SUSHI.

SAKE Sushi - SALMON!!!! MY FAVOURITE!!! hahah. It was thick, SWEET and fresh!! A million times better than SAKAE SUSHI. Really.

The tempura prawns. =)

The main entrance of the restaurant - we took this pictures after we ate our fills. hahhaha.

BACK HOME.

Void deck.

We wanted to catch a movie, but the timings were not right, so we gave up the idea. But, Woody bought matching hp accessories! It's a small turtle. Super cute. =DD Thanks!

*
Went to meet Min ytd at around 7 plus. Bought stuff. I think she was on a shopping craze. =)

I'll post the pictures of my last day of attachment another day! I need to go out now! hahhaha. BYE!

Appetizer.

2006-09-11T00:29:00.000+08:00

More pictures tmr when I'm free! Might be going over to my granny's place to stay this week, will see how. =)

8th Sept 2006 - Last day of ITP!

Miramar Hotel - 9th Sept 2006!

Stay tuned. =))) Enjoy your week. I'm having my hols!!!! Whoowhee!!! hahahah. Take care.

Soon I'll be out...

2006-09-06T12:20:00.000+08:00

Soon I'll be out of MPA!!!!! WOOT~

Freedom~~~ I really miss the freedom I had. I wanna go shopping, watch movie, sleep, eat etc whenever I like! Sigh.

It's true that I miss the people here, they were all REALLY VERY NICE to me. However, I don't wanna come back and do another round of attachment. I'm happy that I'm out of here soon. In like 2 days' time?? YAY.

Looking forward to the Jap restaurant that I'm gonna go this Sat. Ling's bringing me there. He said it's super duper yummilicious. hahha. We'll see.

I'm looking forward also to my first driving prac! which is tmr!!! hehe~ I bet the first prac will just be.. this is the steering wheel, this is the accelerator... this is the brake.. this is the odometer, this is where you pump your petrol... blah blah. Next will be, let's accelerate, brake. then reverse, brake.. on and on and on.

Kinda boring huh. Nvm, I hope he give me more chops! =D

Will be chiong-ing driving this coming hols. At least I have something to do. =)

Short and boring entry huh.

Still having different opinions about buying stuff for the people here with EM. She can never stand me, neither can I. GRRR. Aunties... sigh.

Alright, wait till friday, I'll be jumping with joy down the stairs and OUT of MPA. lol!!

To the three brave young guys out there (Ling, JL and WH), nice job! Though you guys didn't get in, doesn't matter. =) At least you can tell others, you had the guts to make that first step. =)))
I'll be your audience! Sing for me!! hahahah..

Speaking of that, I haven't been to ktv and sing comfortably with my friends. The key word is, comfortably. (right, Min? heh.)

*
Guess Ling's having difficulty teaching the new intern. He doesn't seem like he's interested in listening. Hate this kinda people.

I'm going back to school to meet my LO today! As good as HALF DAY. WOOHOO.

Meeting derrick later on for dinner. This bug has been bugging me for a thousand years.

Bye!!!!

we're going metallic! whee~
how long can I hold? =DDD

Driving and Straight hair

2006-08-31T11:47:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, I was saying the other time I had straightener right. I'm too lazy to flip the photos in the correct way. hahha. You'll have to slant your heads to see k? =D

Anyway, it's not as straight as you go for rebonding or whatever. I like it better that way. I still want my ends to curl out a little bit. At least the mid part of my hair is still straight and not zig zag when I wake up in the morning.

*
I enrolled for driving at the Singapore Safety Driving Centre - SSDC. I used the straightener that day before I went out, but the weather was SOOOOO hot! I had to tie up my hair. Grrrr. I thought my straight hair was a goner already. After listening to the briefing, enrolled and took the train all the way from YCK to Admiralty, I let my hair down, it was STILL STRAIGHT! hahhaha. I didn't know it was so cool. hahhaa.

Good good.

Digress a little, the baby golden shoe pendant I ordered online came yesterday! SO CUTE! Really lor. It looks exactly the same as what was shown on the picture! CUTE!!!!!! hahha. I'm already wearing it today. hahha! =)))))) It's the one and only piece I think. I HOPE. hahha.

Oh ya, driving. I just went for the briefing, the lady just merely explained the procedures and stuff. Enrolling, I almost couldn't pass the eye test, cause I didn't bring my glasses along. The lady was kind enough to tell me to bring my glasses when I apply for my Provisional Driving License - PDL cause they will test my eyes again.

I went for my Final Theory Trial test already. PASSED. I didn't know they would tell me the score. hahaha. After clicking 'End Test', I just stared at the green coloured 'PASSED' word. hahah. Till Sokyin told me my score, I think it was 47/50 or 48/50. She couldn't see clearly too. Oh ya, I went with SOKYIN to enrol for our driving. heh. We took the trial together too, the only difference, hers was BTT and mine FTT. She passed hers too! Congrats!

Booked my practicals throughout the Sept holidays (11 Sept till 24 Sept). Every single weekday. =D I wanna get my driving over and done with. Ah yes, I took AUTO. Too lazy to take manual. What for? I'm not gonna drive a manual car EVEN with a manual driving license.

You'll just look dumber when you pass manual and come out without even touching a manual car since your TP. There are some who'll say, "Aiyah, at least IF there's a need you still can drive a manual car what..." It's a big IF. I don't wanna be struggling with manual.

I look at Derrick, Roy and MQ's sister. They passed a manual, but what car are they driving now? Auto.

Different preferances ok? Maybe if you love cars very much, you might wanna take manual lar. Some girls like to fiddle with the gear and feel the engine or whatever, but I'm not that kind lar. I just want a car to DRIVE, not PLAY. No sports car for me also, cause I don't like. Flat and short, not comfy at all.

Okay, inferior license then inferior license lor. I don't deny it's not, because it deprives you from driving a manual car. I'm just being more practical. Ya, say I'm a girl, weak and can't drive. Pay for auto might as well don't take, learn nothing at all. Don't take means I can't even get to drive a car, be it auto or manual. These are what you people wanna hear right? Sometimes it's better not to have these people around. Wet blankets, can't you people be more encouraging? Like Liru and MQ? Ah, nvm..

On a happier note, it's only 6 more working days and I'm done with ITP!!! Have to go for a book prize ceremony next Tuesday. I wonder if I'll get anything. My boss didn't mention anything. She doesn't even tell us our marks for our periodic assesments.

The IT fair is on, at Expo - 31st Aug till 3rd Sept. Might be going down to have a look tmr with Woody. Alright, I think I've blogged enough. Enjoy your week =)

Out.

Nickelback - Far Away

2006-08-26T11:56:00.000+08:00

Nickelback - Far Away

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there’s just one left
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

On my knees, I’ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I’d give it all
I’d give for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
‘Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
‘Cause I’m not leaving
Hold on to me and
never let me go

*
I like this song. =) Nice.

"I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand." - I like this.
Awwww. How I wish someone would say that to me. =)

Inconsiderate S'poreans

2006-08-22T14:57:00.000+08:00

Have you every squeezed into the train, early in the morning with everyone back to back, faces almost touching the door and the moment you lift your foot, there's no other space you can put it down?

Every single morning, argh. SQUEEZE!

Here come the irritating part. I'm not against those who read books, magazine or even newspapers in the train. I know the ride is long, I know it gets boring after a while and you need some things to buy time.
BUT have you seen people who open their papers so wide that the space they are using can squeeze another two people in?

ARGH, pisses me off. Come on, the train is already so packed that some people have to almost kiss the doors! And you, reading papers like you're in your own spacious toilet! If you really have to read, at least fold it into half, or even a quarter so that you won't be taking up extra space. (p/s: the one I saw this morning was reading STRAITS TIMES - now, how big is that? At least Newpaper or even Today are smaller)

Worse, these people look like the other passengers all paid lower train fees than them. When their papers get knocked onto, they give the stare like we owe them a million bucks. So annoying can! You have to get to work, others don't have to lar? MAD.

How inconsiderate can Singaporeans get. Not to mention those who SIT on the ground. GRRR. really very irritating.

*
I was home after lunch on Sunday. Mom was asking why the teenagers nowadays are so listless. Teenagers are supposed to be energetic, go to different places to explore etc. Not go home and sleep!

I was telling her, 'Perhaps it's the weather in Singapore that makes everyone very lethargic.'

It's very true, at least for me. When the sun is like right above my head, I don't feel like doing anything but turning on my air con and sleep.

The other time I think I dreamt that SG became as cool as Genting. Not cold, but cool. How great would that be huh! =D

*
I went to meet up with the seller to get my hair straightener. haha! I was playing with it at home. I can have straight hair!! =DDD Not straight as in those rebonded kind (yucks), but normal straight. Ok, my hair's not the very very curly kind, but when I wake up sometimes one or two strands springs up. hahha. so yeah..

I tried taking a few photos. Not very clear. But at least you can see that it's not messy anymore. =)))))))))
Dang, I didn't bring my card reader to my office, I'll post them tonight or tmr. =)

See ya peeps!

KTV, Online purchases

2006-08-21T12:37:00.000+08:00

I went to sing with Jul, Wee and Min last thursday.

It was ok lar. The songs at Kbox, so pathetically little. Partyworld has more variety! =D We paid like 12 bucks each because the cover charge was waived. Ladies night I think. Is it? lol.

I've been not wanting to blog because of my irritating skin. I didn't really like that skin, I changed it for the sake of doing it. I found it quite cramped up. I like everything to be displayed in ONE FULL PAGE. =)

My mom bought a hair straightener for me online. I'm gonna go collect it from the lady this evening. =D I can have straight hair on bad hair days already! IF I'm not lazy to heat it up and slowly stroke it through my hair. haha.

*
I really wanna eat sushi! AHHH. The thought of salmon, makes me drool. =P I can't wait.
This sunday Ann's not working, like finally. hahha. We're going out! Looking for buffets so that we can sit there and fill each other in with the latest updates. =)))) Wanted to play mahjong initially. But JL's going Msia with his parents. =(((((

My hands are itching for MJ. My mouth is itching for sushi. ahhhh. Help.

Oh, I bidded for this golden Novo pumps. I didn't get it!!! Some stupid women went to bid damn high, I might as well get it from the stores. Now, I'm gonna save up and get one comfy pumps from Novo. FIRST HAND. hmph!

I didn't get a life sized golden pumps, I got myself a golden baby shoe pendant. MUAHAHHA. I'm sponsered a little by Woody though,after much whining. hahhaah.

I think online shopping is addictive. =( BAD. Now I'm looking at yahoo auctions already, not just eBay. blehs. hahha.

*
Things are not going alright for you, I know. No, you're not a bad person/friend. Don't conclude something just by looking at it alright? I'm sure he didn't ask you out for a reason. As for me, I was just trying to help. I know if you talk to them and sort things out, things ain't that bad. Trash it out.

Hmmm, I don't know what to say. =(

Useless me. Can't even get things right for once. =(

I think my mom's cute.

2006-08-16T16:45:00.000+08:00

Don't read if you're not interested in my conversation between my Mom and I on MSN. But it's super super super cute! At least to me. LOL. Quite a long entry on JUST THIS. =DD

hahha. Recently, my mom just knew how to use MSN. She's super funny lar.

While she was talking to me, she invited Tab's mom into our conversation. -.- So I asked her why she added, she said she was trying out the 'Invite' button. -.-

I said, "So now you know wad does the invite button do le huh."
She replied, " ya! very dangerous!!!!" -.-

Next,
She asked me how to change the status. I told her to look up the main MSN window and click the part where her email address was (cos she hasn't changed her nick, so it's her email add). When she sees the drop down menu, that's the status button. She can also change her nick from there.

The next thing I know, she's on 'Away' status. I thought she went to do her housework because she told me she gtg TWICE already as she has housework to do.

So I msned her saying, "Away to do housework huh."

She replied after quite a while, "no. away to change my nick."

Me: change nick also need to put away ar?!
Mom: (she said something like this) ya. very slow. so must pretend lo.
Me: pretend to be IT smart huh.
Mom: ya. so i won't lose face.

WAH SEHHHH...... should I laugh or should I cry? hahahha. blur also blur until so cute can.

TODAY - Mom's being cute again.
my personal msg was: sushi!! I wanan eat sushi!!!

Christina says: greedy!

charlene says: hahha!
charlene says: so long haven't eaten sushi alr lor!
charlene says: sakae sushi's buffet is in the afternoon only on WEEKDAYS.
charlene says: i've got itp. =(

Christina says: what is itp

charlene says: attachment
charlene says: we call it itp. industrial training programe

Christina says: wait till weekend

charlene says: only on weekdays then got the buffet
charlene says: if you eat ale carte very ex

Christina says: oh! wait till itp over lo!

charlene says: -.-
charlene says: thanks ar, mummy

SIGH. She came online, no one to talk to, disturb me. -.- hahhaha.

One more k? I wanna record all the CUTE moments. lol!

Christina says:
why nobody is on msn. only you

charlene says:
cos no one is online?
charlene says:
no one signed in then nobody is on msn lar. hahhaha.

Christina says:
wrong timing to chat?
Christina says:
maybe i should look for some strangers

charlene says:
huh? strangers? how to?

Christina says:
other chatroom?

charlene says:
there's not chatroom on msn
charlene says:
you have to add each and every one by their email one..
charlene says:
it's not like IRC - the one you and dad banned me from going in during lower sec sch days.

My mom's more hip than me man. I've already grown out of the times where I find strangers to talk to me. lol.

*
Kbox with Wee, Jul and Min tmr! I hope everyone will turn up on time! No OTs! Min!!! Ask your boss not to give you OTs tmr. hahahha. lalala. It's another 3 weeks before I end my ITP!!! WHEEEEEEEEE! I can't wait.

I've been waiting since the first month of ITP. =(

*
And oh, I've learnt a new thing about JL. -grins- =DDD Ok, I promise I won't make fun of him. hhaha.
Wood is gonna have loads of treats! GRRR. I have NONE. BAHHHH!

I wanna eat sushi for..... FREE. hee. =D

Ok, I'm gonna go! bye!

I can't get to sleep!!

2006-08-14T03:25:00.000+08:00

Sheesh, I have to be up in about 3 hours?? I can't get to sleep after I talked on the phone with Wood. Bahh.

Came online to chat, view blogs and visit my Friendster. lol.

Sunday.
I lead the prayer session. I made everyone stick a paper behind them. Each one of them are suppose to go around and write at least 5 good comments on 5 different people. Good comments on what talents or gifts do you think the person has.

We were suppose to pray about our talents and gifts on how we could use them in God's ministry. Quite fun I guess. We often tend to pray for others, we forget about praying for ourselves. We do pray for ourselves, but we always pray because we want something to be answered. yeah.

Some peopl may think they are useless, or good for nothing. Not true, everyone has their own talents and gifts. =) It only takes time before you realise what you're actually good at/in. =)

*
I was kinda troubled over some issues. I guess everything's settled now. heh.

I think I need photos soon! Should start bringing my camera out.

Oh, did I mention I saw fireworks on National Day from my house? So pretty! The kids over the other block kept going, 'WAHHHH!' whenever they see one firework. They sort of woke me up from my sleep. hahaha. At least I got to watch.

I went to watch the fireworks on friday. PRETTY! They were simply PRETTY! I didn't know why when I saw them, I felt like crying or tearing. hmmmm. I just didn't want the fireworks to end.. How I wish the world would stop at that moment.

Dumb me wore a miniskirt there. Shit man, couldn't even sit comfortably! I was sitting in a very weird position. hahahha. I don't really know how to explain that position. hahah. Nvm.

I didn't take any pictures. =) I enjoyed every moment of it.

Okay, I shall blog more when I have the time. Perhaps during work tmr. =DDD

Love ya peeps!

bye!

I need time to... adapt.

2006-08-10T09:19:00.000+08:00

I need time to adapt. I didn't know things would just get into me like that. I suddenly realise things isn't the same anymore.

Charlene, you had enough 'trying your luck'. When you say 1130, do it. Not even a minute late. I really don't like to wake someone up and start talking on the phone. I'd rather don't talk and just go to bed. hmmm.

I refused to ask what you did the whole day. I refused to start a conversation going. I refused. Just because you didn't wait for me. I'm that stubborn. Although it was my fault in the first place.

I ain't mad at you for not waiting for me further. I guess I spoke that way because I just suddenly realise, I'm not so 'loved by actions' like before. Because I'm the kind who'll climb over one's head. I need to start depending on myself, mean my words and act accordingly.

No more, 'later then say', 'aiya, he/she won't get angry one lar' blah blah blah.

I have.... me, myself and I. I knew I wasn't so lucky all the time. Now you've stepped back a lot, I realised.
When you backed off a little, I didn't notice and listen despite the times you told me outrightly.

All I need is time to adapt.

I'll buy my own food. I'll stop thinking that you'll still be awake even if I call later than the time I told you I will. I'll buy things only when I can afford it. I'll only eat, when I can afford it. I won't call to disturb and demand that you talk to me in the middle of the night.

I thought it'll be relaxing in this r/s (finally one), but I guess there's no relaxing r/s in this world. Fairytales won't happen, Charlene. Not even when you've found the perfect one for you. Be it that one girlfriend or BGR. SIGH.

This realization came too sudden, it just hit me like that. I won't take your niceness for granted. I'll try.

I'm not a sadist. I miss the times you cried to me. Those times gave me the feeling of a wanted person. I only miss the times you cried cos you were touched, you missed me, you were thankful for what I did and stuff along this line. Not the times you cried because you were sad, hurt or angry.

*

I went to SAFRA for some gathering Unc Hong organised. It was okay, just that everything were quite in a rush and stuff. No food prepared to munch, people didn't really quite get to chit chat with one another, games were mainly for the adults to play with the kids (speaking from a youth's p.o.v -point of view).

After which, went for lunch (ate nasi lemak) and headed for some dog and fish farms. The puppies were SO CUTE CAN?! I want all of them! But I know they'll grow up to be not-so-cute. Just like my dog. Innocent face, violent attitude. TSK.

I like tame ones like Maltese and Szhi tzu (i think the spelling is wrong, but you get what I mean lar. =D). I like Silky Terriers too. But Terriers are quite active, like my dog (but I think my dog's insane lar.).

Oh!!!! We saw a parrot! Very smart one in fact! It whistled at us when we walked thru the door. When we wanted to take a picture of it, it'll 'siam' the camera left and right, up and down. DAMN CUTE. Tab and I were laughing like mad. hahah.

I thought it was just a hand gesture that the owner trained it to look it. I tried the same gesture w/o holding my phone, it didn't move. I tried with my phone, it did the same actions again!! hahha. I tried it several times! It isn't coincidence! Really, damn cute.

It had a reason to be proud lar, the feathers were so colour full. Bright and healthy (cos it was jumping around in the cage, very active). =DDD

I wanna go to the farm again. I love seeing cute animals. =DDD

*

I kept thinking it was Sat ytd because of the PH. I was watching SI, sigh, getting bad to worse. Nothing really to comment on. Those can't sing, still can't sing. Those who could sing, didn't sing their best. That's all.

*

Should be going for the fireworks this Friday! =DDD Anyone interested? hahhaa.

Adidas Jacket.

2006-08-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

Okay.. I have not been blogging for days. almost a week. There's nothing eventful recently.

I bought my Adidas Jacket on Sat. Throwing away two of my jackets which I don't find them useful anymore. One stretched till it was over sized because of all the washing. The other one, the zipper spoilt and also, it doesn't keep me warm enough.

Many people know that I'm VERY afraid of the cold. hahaha. Maybe it's because I don't have any arm or leg hair. hahaha. That's what I heard people say.

No wonder Ann is always perspiring. She's like a monkey lar! hahhahah. =X Don't kill me AUNTIE ANN.
Sounds like the pretzel brand. hahaha. Yummy, come to think of it, I haven't had that for a long while.

I've been craving for food the past week. I don't know why. Spending so much money on food made me think why it's a NEED to eat. Why can't eating be like going for a holiday? You feel like it, you eat. Even if you don't eat, it's okay. TSK.

I wanna watch fireworks on the 11th. Actually I thought it would be a nice clubbing night. After fireworks then club. =X I'm gonna get scolding soon! bahhh.

If I get to see the fireworks this year, I won't take pictures of it. I wanna enjoy the moment. That 10-15 min or so. Everyone has been busy taking photos, in the end, you have to admire them through the developed pictures. Kinda dumb.

I like the feeling of waiting in the night, with your friends, loved ones, family and feel the fireworks 'rain' down on you after they explode. (do they explode? or is it another word? lol.)

Last year's fireworks was good. Good company, good works. =) (where's my heart shaped fireworks?)

It's 45 min to home! =D It's another on month to freedom for two weeks! =D Woody might be going on a M'sia trip with his parents. BAHH. BOO. No one to accompany me anymore. No more wake up calls. No more chatting in the night. No more whining and whining on the things I want but can't get. =((((

Sheesh, sounds so emo.

*
Having ulcer on my lips AGAIN~ I think the 'heaty-ness' haven't gone off since the last breakout. hahha. I've been drinking water leh! In fact, quite a lot. Whenever I see girls with super nice complexion, I'll ask them if they drink a lot of water. Most of them says, 'yes.'

Now I shall drink more water! Veggies are not a problem, because I don't dislike them. 'Cept for those weird tasting ones. =D

*
Might be having family gathering this wednesday at Grandma's place. See how, if not it'll be SAFRA (eew, I don't like to go there. So far, nothing to do anw.)

See how. Might be going cuz's house next week. I miss them!

Bye!

Those who know I love them, are my friends.

2006-08-02T17:29:00.000+08:00

Those that I know I love them, are those who know me.

Sometimes my love don't come in a very nice way. I gave them cos I love you. =)

I don't know why I was there catch, despite being hurt quite a lot.
After catching, hurts came back more than when I didn't bother. haha.
I just couldn't, to not be at the bottom for this particular person (X).

I see others reigning at the top of me, more treasured by X. I feel sad, asking myself time and again why am I doing this for X? Who asked me to love X? sighh.

I would only be in X's 'visibility' when X is happy and all good, wanting fun. haha. I can safely say no one will love X more than I do.

I hope X knows I'm talking abt X. haha.

I'm more bothered about X than myself.

*

Anyway, I was searching for online stuff to buy. heh. Helped me pass my time. I would bring my lappy to work, because the dumb thumbdrive cannot fit into the office's CPU. tsk. It's also more convenient to work on your own laptop right? =)

I'm knocking off alr! bye!

Sick again!

2006-08-01T15:04:00.000+08:00

I'm sick again!!!!~ grrr. I don't like to be sick. bahhh.

I'm having a sore sore sore throat. And slight blocked nose. I'm feeling so cold. I'm wearing a long sleeve underneath my JACKET. =S And I'm still feeling very cold. I can feel my goosebumps coming out. =( Despite drinking hot water.

Normally I won't even touch my tumbler when I come to work. Means, I don't drink water or maybe a few mouths. I think that led to my sickness now. =( Anyway, I drank like 5-6 tumblers ytd? I really don't like drinking plain water. Kept running to the toilet. Sighhhh.

Oh ya, Wood fed me Char Kway Teow ytd. My throat turned for the worse that night. All your fault! Well, you didn't stop me..... hahaha.

*

I was planning to buy a watch some time soon. Was still fretting over the money. Like already preparing to scrimp and save the next month so that I can buy it. Now, I don't have to already. Ling's mom bought me a Swatch watch. hahah. She was buying one for herself, and she got one for me as well. I think she striked 4D. It's the first time I'm having this flowery, purplish, girlish watch. Normally my watch is one colour, white, brown or black. haah!

She wanted to ask Ling to take two watches for me to let me choose the one I like (so nice of her hor!). Ling asked her to choose the one she like, don't let me choose. hahha.

I'm quite suprised Swatch has 2-years warranty. haha. I've never thought of buying this brand because it's like, quite cheap looking and the price for the quality and look doesn't match. Now, it's a gift. =DDDD

I can save like a hundred bucks! Whee! =D hmmm.

*

I can sense my migraine coming~ bad. I wanna slp!!! =D I want undisrupted slp for a long long time....

I wanna get that dress I saw the other day. I like! I wanna go shopping! I have no money though.

I can't wait for work to end soon!

Self centred huh. All my sentences starts with 'I'.

Alright, gotta go! bye~

I guess.

2006-07-31T15:10:00.000+08:00

Muffins! I bought one muffin back from lunch to munch at OSDC. Banana and Walnut. The banana isn't the mashed up kind where you mix them with the dough. This muffin, has cut banana inside! As in, the banana itself! =D Yummy...

I don't really know what to blog. Well, I LIKE clubbing. =)

It spoils my health though. So, I'm not gonna go often. Besides that, parents wouldn't allow me to go often too what! hahaha.

*

When someone hates something, he/she hates it. Just like me. My like and dislike won't change for anyone. However, I happen to be the one hoping for that someone to change his/her likes. I know it's impossible though. Kinda depressed by the extreme 'starboard' and 'port'. hmmm.

It's okay. =) No one can agree 100% with me, vice versa. We have our rights to have our own preferences. =)

Alright, bye! =D

First night of clubbing - Ministry of Sound.

2006-07-30T16:34:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm too lazy to blog words. Too tired. The pictures shall do the talking.
SOKYIN! Too bad you weren't there! I'm sure it'll be more fun! grrr. =D

PICTURES!

At my house, and at the station waiting for the train. It was 6 minutes can! And we were slightly late. lol.

Nothing much, just some shots on the train towards Clarke Quay.

Okay, my childhood trademark. heh!

I think we took this outside MoS. While waiting for the R&B - Smoove, to open.

Wee Wee, the birthday girl. heh. The short haired one, Juliet.

Some snap shots during the stay there. Ann danced till she perspired like don't know what. I only started perspiring at the end, when it got really really crowded and squeezy.

We left at around 3am. Headed to 7-11 to get some drinks and sat by the bridge.

Ann and I chatted on this higher platform while the guys sat at the railings, making fun of each other. hahaha.

Overall, not bad. I expected better, in terms of music. heh. I really have no idea how to dance to techno. Techno music just suck big time. Really. Do you even call that music?? argh. Those people that dance to it, really look like they were possessed. hahaha.

After everything, got our bags and went to Liang Court to eat Macs. hahaha. I used so many packets of chili that JL had to ask me if I'm eating chili accompanied by Macs or the other way round. hahaha. I like what, cannot huh!

Oh. I forgot to say who went. Woody, Jian Wei, Jian Long, Jia Jun, Ann, Juliet, Wee Wee and me!

JW, had a huge body. He was our 'bouncer' for that night. He just stood beside us and we danced. Preventing other guys to come disturb us. No matter how much he got pushed and knocked onto, he didn't budge an inch! hahaha. Thank you so much for providing us (Ann and I) that 'VIP space'. hahaha! Yeah, through out, whenever we need a 'wall', we'll nudge him for help. hahhaaha.

We taught him how to dance too! Heard that he likes dancing. I was like, "okay... you bend your knees up and down.. Okay, good! you're getting it! now, bend up and down towards your sides.. !"

Funny lar. And I had this guy behind me, keep knocking into me because of the many many people, kinda irritating. So I shouted, "JL!! Save me!" hahhaha. Then he act dancing, danced behind me to block that irritating guy. hahhaha.

While the girls had fun, I think the guys didn't really enjoy it. hmmm. But well, eye opener for some of them. =)

Woody went solely because of me. He spent most of the time leaning against the walls, he doesn't like dancing. He protected me well, very good. We walked through the mountains of people, though he was behind me, he was blocking every contact beside me with his hands. =) Thanks. I scared him to death (almost) when he lost sight of me at the dance floor. hahaha.

Thank you so much for looking over me. Though because of this trip we had quite a lot of misunderstandings in our thoughts and mindsets. You couldn't get what I really meant and vice versa. We solved all those out, didn't we? =) Thanks a million for everything.

Alright, I guess I've got to go! hahahha. Hope you enjoyed this entry. =)

The 'sway' Period.

2006-07-26T10:13:00.000+08:00

I got my period! Dang. And I'm damn sway.

I felt a constant cramp at my lower abdomen, then I felt funny down there. hahaha. I asked my colleague to bring the milk tea I was making back to my desk for me, while I went to the toilet.

GOSH! It came!!!! I have no sanitary pads or even my life saver - panadols! SIAN.

While running out, I slipped over water and NEARLY fell. I went out to seek for my pad. lol. Fortunately, BY had one. hahah! I hope my cramps doesn't kill me today. Argh. Ok, that's not the end of the story.

I went back to my desk. I was eating biscuits. I'd normally soak my biscuits in my tea, so they'll be soggy. hahha. I know I'm weird, but I'm sure there are others who eat biscuits like that!

This time round, my biscuit got too soggy. While I was trying to put it in my mouth, it broke apart from the still hardened part and dropped in my tea! Wa lau. All the tea splashed out, ON MY SKIRT. sian.

Ok, nvm. I took a napkin, tried to tidy the spots. I needed some plain water, so I used my water bottle. While pouring the water, I spilled quite a lot on my chair. -.-

I wonder what's gonna happen next. hahah. I know my post is kinda boring, just like my mood. Bahhh. No wonder I felt like crying last night. I won't cry the whole month (I mean I still cry when I'm sad lar!), but when my period comes, I'll cry the night before. Even for the slightest thing. heehee.

I'm quite (okok! very lar, can?)nasty when I'm having my PMS. hee. And I eat a lot! =D Oh ya, I'm constipated everyday. I only shit like once in two or three days? But when my period comes, woah, it cures by itself! =DDD I feel quite shiok though. I like the feeling after you shit. hahah. I mean, I feel clean and 'empty'. hahah!

Eat a lot + Shit a lot + get nasty + get agitated easily + get emotional + wants to cry (the night before) = PMS

PMS will be there for one week, sometimes two. The longer it is, the worse it is. Because I'll get really fat and I'll piss everyone around me off by my attitude. haha!

Poor Woody, kena frightened by me last night. hahahahhah! Sorry lar.. =)

I can't get into this website to look for Indonesian authentication letter for the certs. Tsk. Like that how I work?! grrr.

*

I realised when I give up on something, as in really give up, I keep quiet. I stop ranting and raving anymore. No wonder people who really commit suicides, commit quietly. Those who keep saying they wanna die, have no guts to die.

*

I wanted to so tell you that life won't be just like the cycle you said because there's a God. We have a reason to live. I didn't wanna say directly to you, because I didn't wanna pressure you. I say it here, at least you don't have to reply me. right? =)

I hold on to the message that you told me you'd come back, I will hold on to it for as long as I can. Till the day you prove me otherwise. Of cos I hope the day won't come.

*

And for another you, when you say you should let go, stop doing things that'll make u hold on. Now I still rant, be thankful. In this state of mine, the people I bother about, I can count with one hand. What you preach to your friends, do so for yourself too. Everyone can be sad, but how long you wanna sit in this pool of sadness, it's all up to you.

Don't waste your time on something you know will make you feel worse if things are gonna go your way. You told me, it's just the dependency you're clinging on to. It's time you be more independent.

I'll blog more when I have the time. =)

Savanna tanning.

2006-07-24T11:18:00.000+08:00

Yay! I'm at PSAB this week, so here are the pictures. =) I posted half way then blogger didn't let me post already. boo.
This is only part one. I didn't post those we took using ann's phone. hahhaha. It's at home. I'll post next time I guess. =)

I feel like taking leave on Friday so I can stay home and do my project as well as write all of my log entries. So I don't have to keep worrying abt not writing. grrr.

Here goes.

Met Ann at Simei. I was late for like 30 to 45 min. Hey, the blur me didn't know Simei was like at the end of the green line! I thought it was near PL or Aljunied or sth like that. Grrr. hahah. Thanks girl for waiting! hahha. Eh, I had to treat her bubble as compensation ok!

Reached her condo. Nice place! really nice decos.

The elephant was burning hot ok!

Some shots of the surrounds.

Pool.

Let's start tanning! =DDD

Ok, let me show you my 'standard' pose when I was young whenever I took pictures. hahaha.

TWEEZ! lol.

Photos below, I don't know what we were doing. Just playing around in the jacuzzi. hahhaha!

After bathing, we went up to this pan house kinda area. These are the photos:

In the toilet after shitting. LOL

Some random photos on the way out, and to TM.

After everything we went over to TM for dinner, Fish & Co. Their fish and chips, woah!, nice! =D I ate two saucers of Tar Tar sauce. HEE. I like! =) Treat, anyone? =DDD

I can't wait for friday! If everything goes well, PARTYYYY!!! =)))))

*

Had MJ for the past two days. I like that game. hahaha. Ling, you have to train my mom more. hahaha. She said she needed practise so that she can retire next time and play golf (when it's not raining) and MJ (when it's raining). =))

I was the BIG LOSER ytd. =( Lost like 70 bucks lar. Tsk. hahahhaa.

Should I get that watch or should I not? I'm more to the 'should' side. hee. We'll see. I have to plan my finances. =)

*

Met Jul for lunch just now. Good chatting session. hahhaa. We purposely didn't wanna go out of the building to eat so we could spend the time chatting instead of walking. hahhaha. Though we could talk and walk at the same time. hmmm. hahah!

Alright, that's all for now. =D bye!

TIRED.

2006-07-20T11:50:00.001+08:00

HELP. I'm tired. I need sleep!!!!!

Reached home at around 7 plus in the evening. Initially, I wanted to sleep first before sending Joel off at the airport. But, I couldn't not watch TV! I like the shows yesterday! hahaha.

So, I went to sleep at around 12am I think. Woke up at 2 plus, change and left the house. WOAH, I've never left my house at such a hour before! hahaa. Arrived at the airport, ate Macs, then sent Joel off.

I fell asleep in the car while scratching my pillow that I brought along. =D Home at 5 plus in the morning. -.-
And I had to wake up at 7am!!! Boo.

Bought Coke when I came to work, to perk me up. hahha. It helped! =)

I finished my morning job earlier than the past two days! hahaha. =)

I'm packed for the next three days! yay! If everything goes as planned, I'll be busy busy! Actually not really busy, but relax relax! HEE.

Lets see.
21 Jul '06 (Fri) - I'm going singing with my colleagues! It's been ages since I've sang. BOO. I have to be at TANAH MERAH FERRY TERMINAL at 8.15 am lar! Do don't know what health exercise. Help out there. hahaha. Sigh, later in the night still have to travel to Chinatown for singing. Grrr.

22 Jul '06 (Sat) - Sun tanning with Ann. After that, MAHJONG! hahahha. My place. That dumb girl wants us to cook our own dinner. (P/S: JL and Ling, don't scold me. NOT MY IDEA.) I don't dare to tell those two boys lar, they'll kill me FOR SURE. tsk. Ann always like that one. Make me do things that'll cost me my life. TSK TSK TSK!

23 Jul '06 (Sun) - Church in the morning. Nothing during afternoon. Evening, MAHJONG! hahahha. Remember my mom mentioned that her hands were itching to play MJ? My brother doesn't like and don't know how to play. So we're always lacking of one person. So, mom invited Woody to play. hahhaha. (don't tell him I said that he's scared of my dad. =DDD)

Yay! I'm so waiting for weekends to come. =D I wanna take leave! Too tired already. boo. hahha.

Alright, will blog more if I have things to blog later! =)

It's the first time

2006-07-19T08:24:00.000+08:00

I'm blogging so early in the morning! =DDDD I know, lame huh. hahhaha. I'm at work but I can't get down to work because I'm just too lazy to. I just finished my breakfast, sipping on my can of Chrysanthemum Tea. =)

Last night, I recieved a message while watching a show.

I wasn't too shocked, but rather, I was concerned about the sender.

I called back a while later, found out that everything's ok and good. Good that things are this way. =) I'm happy for her.

I thought I'd say, "See, I told you. I told you I'd wait for this day. Why didn't you heed my advice but go to those who can't even decide stuff for themselves?"

I didn't, when I saw the message, I didn't.. And I'm glad I didn't. Those thoughts were thought months ago when I was still fuming in anger. =)

To you,
I'm happy to hear your cheery voice once again. The haggard and tired look you have each week I see you, makes me wonder what you were going through. I didn't bother asking, because I know, you didn't listen in the past, you wouldn't listen now too. Now you know what you should and should not do, I'm glad. I hope you really know what you have learnt, after me telling you (!!). =)

On one hand I made you promise that in the past, knowing you'd break it on the other hand. However, I told myself that even if you broke it, I was prepared. Prepared for everything that I'm gonna find out. Also, prepared to stand by you if ever, you fall. This time, you fell beautifully. =)

I won't try to act like I'm your perfect friend, go with your decision, tell you I'll be there for you the whole time, and when things happen, tell you I know you best and don't say anything. It's because I know you, that's why I reacted that way all these while. The start, the 'during' and now, the end. When I know it's wrong, it's wrong. I scolded you in the start, knowing if you fall, you'd learn. Ignore you during it, hoping you'd remember me if ever my words to you in the past comes true. And now, I won't say nothing and tell you I know you best. Silence is not what you need.

It's true that you think through things thoroughly, but little does the people know that your decisions, even after you've thought through it, may be the wrong choice.

Sometimes we don't know what we want best for ourselves. People always claim that we make decisions because we know ourselves best. WRONG. It's not true all the time. Okay?

You should know what I meant when I told you I think you better bring ear plugs. (I have more to say for this part (as usual), but I don't think it's nice.) =)

I shall end here, take care.

Char

*

Alright, still no pictures. hahaha! I'll have to get back to work already! =) Bye people!

Fake Fake Fake

2006-07-17T11:26:00.000+08:00

Too much of anything defeats it's purpose.

Disgusts me more.

All of you seemed so nice, SEEMED is the word.

The feeling I'm getting now is, you are so fake. Really.

Fake care, Fake concern, Fake smile, Fake face, Fake actions, Fake people, Fake world.

Danger sign: If you don't get near, you won't get hurt.

I see a 'Danger Sign' hanging on everyone.

What he said was so true.

Someone said to me something like that, something in life that will always be constant, and that is change.

So true. So so true.

I gambled my faith in God on men. I don't even have to say the result of it. I'm paying my debts.

If you don't provide me with care and concern, the least you can do is not reprimand me when you talk to me. - this applies to everyone.
I'll appreciate it.

Don't, everyone of you, come to me showing me how much you know, how 'holy' you are, how 'concerned' you are, how hurt and sad you're feeling cos of me etc, and reprimand me for the things I'm doing. Look at yourselves, how fake you people are.

Disappointing.

Save me from this pit of fakeness.

I hate

2006-07-16T23:41:00.000+08:00

I hate people who don't reply to my msgs or calls or whatever. I just can't stand ppl who just don't reply.. Basic courtesy? At least say something! Be it yes, no, two word answer, whatever! Just at least acknowledge that you've seen the msg! Esp those that I needed a reply badly.

No one in particular. Just a thought/hate that I wanna voice out. It's getting on my nerves.

Save sms is such a lousy excuse to not reply any msgs. If you were so cool, why would your sms be used up in the first place? Save so many for what? Got sms rebate ar? chey.

*

Went out with Ann on Sat to tan. Not really tanned still. hahha. I'll let pictures do the talking next time. =) I'll be at OSDC, so no pictures. Maybe..

Oh! I've started on the project already! I'm one-third there. lol. Hang on, Char! 7 more weeks. =D I'll get my hols! yay yay!

*

Package Outing
Dom couldn't turn up because of some family matters he had to attend to. We met up, went for dinner at Cine. Took neoprints after that! hahha.

Min had to leave around 9 plus. Alex, Woody and I escorted her to the train station. hahhaha. She left. Alex sent her home. Woody and I went back to HMV to look for Arthur and Fas.

Balcony! I've been wanting to go in there, hahaha. It looks quite cosy from the outside. There's this jacuzzi in the middle on the second floor. I didn't get to sit on the hanging cage-looking thingy outside. heh.

Whenever I drink, my vision will black out. Sometimes you squat down for too long and you stand up suddenly, you get those black spots for a while? Those that darkens your vision? yeah, that kind. Just that, mine is sort of permanent. I could only see the person's shadow in front of me. I couldn't see anything. I could see slight colours.. but.. well, like 3/4 blind.

Plus, wanting to vomit badly, bad headache and weak. I look like a drunkard practically, just that my mind is sober. hahah.

I consulted the missy-to-be, Ann. hahha. She told me it's because I'm anaemic. She said whenever I drink alcohol, my heart pumps faster, but anaemic patients don't have enough blood. So this results in the above mentioned symptoms.

hahaha, I guess I have to drink fruit punch next time. HAI. SIGH.

It's good also lar, cos I don't really like alcohol. SO BITTER!

Alright, I need some sleep. =D
Goodnight!

Pictures!

2006-07-10T11:35:00.000+08:00

I think it was last week, the youths went for LAN, after that we went to Chomps!

Kay joined us too! =DD
Here are the pictures, impatient ppl!

*At Chomps

* At the club.

* Der and Kay took like TONS of photos because the photographer (me), had shaky hands. hahhaah.

Finally one clearer one, cos I put my cam on the railings of the staircase. hahah.

I laughed and laughed till my tears came down like it was FOC.

* Some other random photos.

This was the nicest photo of the two of us, BUT, Joel had to wave his hands in front of us!!! GRRR!!! Oh, I took my revenge too. I smacked his face with the cushion while he was trying to take a pic with Kay. (see below)

=D

Joel and Kay

Straight.

Left (our right)

Right (our left)

=D
We had loads of fun there! hahhaha. I hope Kay would join us often! I guess she's the only one that didn't change. =) Love ya Kay!!!

-wipes sweat- okay, these are the pictures I've taken so far. hahah.

Oh! the cracker man came to my officer to sell loads of different kinds of crackers! I bought two packets, I feel like eating now, but there's no container for me to store them. =(

I'm waiting for lunch break. So bored! =(
Alright, I'm off! =D

Have you ever....

2006-07-09T16:03:00.000+08:00

* Have you ever felt like you have tons of problems but yet at that point of time you're thinking about it, you don't have to care about a hoot about what's going on in the world?

I did.

I went swimming alone yesterday at the country club. I went tanning (though not that tan still. hahhaa.) too. Hmmm, it's been a long time since I dipped in the pool, what more swim right.. As I was swimming, I had many flashbacks. Good ones and bad ones. Problems I can think of, heartaches, happy moments etc. At that point of time, I knew I didn't have to care what happens outside the pool. I just had to swim. That kind of relaxation, good. Really good.

I've never felt so relaxed before. Or rather, in a long while.. I knew my body needed some kind of exercise. I don't like to perspire too. Swimming is one good hobby for me. I've liked swimming since I was young. I'm always too lazy to pack my big bag and head down to the club. After the small exercise, I felt good. Refreshing. Satisfying. =D

Ate lunch at the club with my parents too. =) I like having lunch with them rather than dinner. I think I tend to sleep in the afternoons if I don't have programmes during the weekends. When they wake me up for dinner, I don't have the mood to eat.

When I want to eat, let me eat. Because I lose my appetite very easily. hahhaa.

* Now I'm home, I did my bed sheets. =D Mopped my floor, cleared my shoe rack. Threw away a couple of shoes. Bought another one just now when I went shopping alone. =) I didn't want some of the old shoes, they were either giving me blisters or they weren't comfortable. I told my mom she can have it. hahaha. Sell it or give it away. Anything. hahhaha.

* I realised yesterday that I was using 'hahahhaah' excessively on MSN. hmmm. Why? I don't know. Am I really happy or I'm just trying to curve that lips of mine? If this is the Char ppl want to see, so be it. Till I'm tired of putting up a front.

I don't need people to tell me, be the way you are etc. EQ means quite a lot in this society. Now, how do you differentiate having EQ, putting up a front and being hypocritical? These are all 3 different categories separated by a very thin line.

Let say, if this person is being irritating, but I just smile and entertain him/her. So, am I having EQ, putting up a front or I'm being hypocritical?

Humans get on my nerves sometimes.. Really.

p/s: I'm just writing my views. Not arrowing anyone in particular. =)

* I have one more week to write for my log book. =( Also, a project that I have to start REAL SOON. I hate powerpoints (because I'm not at all good at it), therefore I delay and delay and delay.....

* WC Finals tonight. 3/4 of Singapore will be awake. Sleeping during work tmr. hahha!

Alright, I have to go. Bye! =)

"What is Love?"
"Love is when you know I love you."

Fun!

2006-07-07T14:14:00.000+08:00

The uncles at OSDC are crazy. Their jokes are........ FUNNY! I laugh and laugh can! Even as I type this entry I'm smiling secretly to myself. hahahah. I don't wanna go back PSAB! I don't want!!! =((((

I wanna stay in wonderland forever. hahahha. Can I dispatch my log book back for her to sign and I stay here? PLEASE????? =( I thought my boss was quite okay at first despite all of them complaining abt her in the pantry during lunch. Now, I've seen her true colours. Well, perhaps half lar. She doesn't call me directly to tell me stuff, she'll ask her employee to tell me. Weird.

Life is good here! hahha. I bet all of them are jealous. lol!

I have nothing to say leh.

Alright, I'm going off le! Bye!

Relax Day

2006-07-05T13:42:00.000+08:00

"Decisions that concern me should be made by ME. I don't need someone else to do it for me."

It's my third day at OSDC. Life has been good. =DDD It's more relaxed here. And also, I get to see people! Yay! I love looking at people. hmmm.

I attended the counter a little yesterday. FUN! =D I manage to collect some applications, give them 3 months endorsements and stuff like that. When Ms Teo went for lunch ytd, I was suppose to cover counter for her for a while.

I only know how to do some. So she told me, "You know how to do, you do. If you don't know, let the customers wait. We already told them not to come during lunch hours and if they insist, they have to wait." =D

The whole experience is fun, so much so that I don't feel like going back to PSAB. I can step outside as and when I want when the place gets too cold. The officers here are damn thick skinned. They on the air con like 18 degrees! -.- I'm not a very air con person.... so.... yea.

Someone told me that thin people have more leg and arm hair - to prevent them from coldness. BUT I don't have any or rather, they can't be seen! =( No wonder I'm get cold so easily. I should grow more hair. lol!
More hair, more hair... more hair... some say fur. -.-

I'm so sorry that I have no pictures lar! I didn't upload the pictures in the com! I will upload when I get back ok? Stupid JOHN TAN CHEN. lol....

I want chalet during SEPT! I want I want! lol...

I wanna go Bintan too..

ARGH.

2006-07-03T14:57:00.000+08:00

I'm going crazy soon already. Seriously. I thought life would be better being at OSDC.

She's like a ghost, haunting me wherever I go. WHY?! This is so irritating.

I really don't know what to say. I just didn't give her a good attitude that's all. I won't be saying what happened lar, it's just really irritating.

I wonder how she became a sales person, with such low EQ, poor work ettiques and stuff like that. I wonder. She asked the rest of the stuff whether she is able to be excused from coming to OSDC. She complains it's too far, have to walk..

Look, she has bus concession. I asked her to change bus lar, cos if she changes, she doesn't have to walk. It stops just in front. She says she's too lazy to change. I mean, you're too lazy to change? I have to take a train and then bus to work EVERYDAY since the start of attachment. And I don't complain.

It's not like she has to pay extra money to come to OSDC. She has a bloody BUS CONCESSION can?! Really, getting on my nerves.

Oh, the situation above happened a while ago. It wasn't the thing that irritated me this morning. Heh.

Nvm. I just wanna blog it out to say it somewhere, vent my frustrations. Bleh.

*

Had dinner with the youths last night at Chomps. After that, Joel, Der, Kay and I went to the club to sit and chat. The rest went home.

It's been so long since I felt at home. Playing and chatting with familiar and comfy faces. How I missed Kay! hahahha. We took pictures till we laughed like mad. I think since the attachment started I haven't been laughing till my tears fell like it was free flow. lol. Fun time indeed.

I have the pictures. I'll post them when I'm at PSAB. I can't really do it at OSDC. heh. I'm glad Kay's doing a good time at her church.

I was browsing through the past entries I wrote when Kay wanted/ was about to leave. It told her if she was able to grow in this current church of hers, go. That's all. I'm glad that she's growing. =)

*

There's steamboat tonight at Marina Bay. I forgot to bring my cam! =( That's so sad. Nvm, we'll see how.

I can't wait for work to finish. I have nothing to do now! It's quite boring here. Some of the system can't work her, so.... yea. The key board is quite stiff too. My fingers are aching from all the typing. =(

Alright, I'll stop here. Till I have more to blog. Bye and take care! =DDD

Oh my goodness! OSDC here I come!!!!

2006-06-30T17:23:00.000+08:00

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I'm going to One Stop Document Centre - OSDC!!!!!

I'm not excited cos of the place. Well, partly. But, what I'm happier about is, I don't have to see EM for the rest of my ITP! I have been in high spirits since I knew the plan! =DDDDDD HAPPY!

Okok, let me tell you guys what's this all about. OSDC is a place where companies can submit their application forms for the certs I've been issuing. They can either post or fax it straight to MPA which is the place I'm currently at. Or, go to OSDC to submit them.

Every week, each staff of my dept gets to go to OSDC. It's like a duty roster. Therefore, now, I'm posted there. EM and I would rotate weeks. So, whenever I'm at MPA, she'll be at OSDC and vice versa.

SO, I won't be seeing her till...... school starts. Hmmm, I think I'll get to see her when our projects are due. yay! I don't mind seeing her, just don't let me work with her. I'm a happy happy girl!

I can't wait! Bahhh! Now, I don't know how to get there. lol! hmmm, I'll check the bus guide when I get home.

*

I wanna watch the match, Germany vs Argentina. I placed a bet. hahha. I hope I'll have beginner's luck. I won't say what I've bet on first. If I win then I'll say. hahha!

I'm going home in 2 mins. So, I'm blogging now as I think I won't be blogging during the weekends. =)

Ohoh, Von and I have some mutual friends we found out not long ago. I hope we can go out together! =D Von, you better arrange ar. You promised me. I'll kill you if you don't. Grrrr. I'll flood your tag board. hahhaha.

Hmmm, alright, I better go. =) bye peeps!

Randoms.

2006-06-28T16:46:00.000+08:00

Woody bought me something that I didn't know how to wear it. hahhaha. I'm still thinking of how... how.. how.

how leh?

I have a pair of wedges that I bought quite sometime ago. I didn't get the chance to wear it. Every night I tell myself I will wear it to work tmr. When tmr comes, I wake up with dry eyes and aching bones, I don't feel like wearing it anymore. I don't feel like dressing up to work. Since I can wear what I like to work, why should I dress up? hahaha.

Then, I'll tell myself I'll wear it during the weekends. BUT, when weekend comes, there's no occasion for me to wear it. I can always wear it, but, normally saturdays would be casual day.... So... hmmm.
Sun? I don't like to wear heels to church. I prefer to lie low, don't talk to me better.

I think I should wear it to sleep. Really. I think I should wear it at home. All those heels in my shoe rack, untouched a long time ago. Some gave me blisters, I didn't wear it again after the first few times. Bahhh.

Maybe I'll wait for the next wedding dinner. heee.

*
I've read a few blogs that said their posts got eaten up by blogger while they were blogging. (i.e IE not responding etc..) They can try clicking on the 'Recover Post' on the top left hand corner of the content box. It did help, for me. Even if Blogger doesn't retrieve the entire post you blogged, at least it still helps to a certain extent. =D

Why is it everyone stopped posting pictures when I was jus beginning to pick up the habit of posting (again)? Gahh. I don't post, you all grumble (ahem: yvonne) lol. I post, you all don't post. Tsk.

*
Actually would you people mind stop asking me how's work. I really don't have anything to say anymore. hahha. I've been doing the same old thing for the past 3 to 4 months. AND will be doing so for the NEXT 3 to 4 months. So don't ask again!!! hahahha. I'll tell you how's work once and for all, okay? =D

Work is, ok lor. Nothing special.

That's how I'll reply you if you ask again. Tsk. But thanks for asking. =) I know you care for me, I got your point! Thanks! lol.. Can ask something else next time? I'll be quite happy too if you just ask if I've eaten or not. lol..

*
I think I'm catching the flu bug very soon.. I've been sniffing the whole day. =( I really hate having flu. bleh.
I wanna drink bubble tea. Would anyone be kind and sweet enough to buy for me? Pls? lol.

Oh oh! I bought Lao Po Bing (argh, I can't insert chinese characters!!!) home yesterday. It was quite nice, quite fresh, not so sweet. I like the winter melon smell! hahahah. Oh, I went Kovan yesterday with Woody. I left the place having a feeling that I forgot to buy something, and I only remembered only today - Bubble Tea. -.-

I was craving for it yesterday and I actually forgot about it. Must be Mel, she called me while I was shopping. Talk and talk, till I forgot. She asked me over to play Mahjong and stay over at her place! O.O I didn't go because I still have to come to work the next day. heh.

Sadz's working at the Changi Airport! Mel and I wanna visit her someday and stay over at the airport! lol. It's been such a long time since I saw her! =(

I still have one more hour to go before I knock off. Bye!

"don't lie to me, because i chose to believe you."

Kovan!

2006-06-27T17:42:00.000+08:00

YessSSssSSsSsSssss!!!!! We're going to..... K.O.V.A.N!

Whee! After a day's suspense, we're going! lol..

I'm mad, nvm... hahaha.

Oh Woody! Youre mom's tupperware is still with me! hahahh.

I don't know why I'm so happy, I guess it's because EM's gone. Oh yea, not forgeting to blog something irritating today.

We had this stack of work we were suppose to do in the afternoon. However, we could do the earlier preparations. Like, keying in the crew's details first. I didn't wanna clash with the one issuing the certificates today, so I just purely keyed in, I didn't give them a cert number. Well, she did do the last step.

After lunch, she's ahead of me (of cos!). She's already finishing, and I was still stamping the stamps on the cert.

*the photo copying machine is beside us*
-she comes and photo copy something-

her: (chanting) stamp wrongly... stamp wrongly...
me: no I won't, I'm not as lousy as you.
her: (chanting again) then you issue wrongly lor.. issue wrongly.... .....
me: no, I'm not as lousy as you.

And I stopped there. IRRITATING can??!! If I stamp wrongly, I'll have re-print, cut the photos again, and stamp again. Resulting in me being slower. Ya la, I know she did one more step ahead of me and she's so afraid of being slower.... Don't have to curse me right.

25 years old already, still so childish. BAHHH! I could have replied her something worse. I didn't, talking to retarded people, you just have to repeat the same old sentence. Really testing my patience. I'm being kind to her cos I still have to spend like months here with her?!

Maybe the last week of ITP I'll snap. Fcuking piece of 25 year old SHIT. Stinks eh?

Alright, I'm gone! Going home soon! =D

Damn ugly.

Bye!

Out with Bra and Boaz's 1st Birthday!

2006-06-26T15:17:00.000+08:00

I went out with Bra on Friday. Just a meal before he enlists for NS. heh. Take good care of yourself while you're in there! =D

I won't post the pics of us, cos both of us look.... s.t.u.p.i.d.
heeee. We had a simple dinner and went off to Joce's place for meeting.

I think I shouldn't say much.

*

Boaz's 1st Birthday! (PICTURES OF A CUTE BABY!)

Well, he looks like me. hehehe. I meant the staring part. He keeps staring at me. A few days before his birthday, he'll cry whenever he stares at me for too long. I guess he's afraid of me because I haven't been going over to my grandma's place since he was born. To him, I'm just a stranger in the house. hahaha. He was much better on his birthday, at least he didn't cry the moment he saw me. He's starting to recognise I'm family! =DDD lol. I didn't get to carry him though, didn't wanna make him cry on his birthday. hahaha.

He was so cute, I had this straining arm, so his maid massaged for me (she's good at it). He cried immediately when he saw that! He was just jealous. hahah. Jealous baby. Cute for now, irritating later. lol.

Anyway, I shall post some of the pictures of him. I think most of them are a little blurred, cos he kept moving here and there. Most of them are on videos. =)

My second aunt cutting the pizza grandma made.
I didn't try the pizza though, I don't like pizza. The onces my grandma made were.... ultra!
The ingredients were huge, hot dogs sniped into half vertically and thrown in there, onions, one chunk (in rings, not cubes) one chunk. Madness. I hate capsicum, and she threw it in like those onions. =( yucks. lol. I only ate the KFC, fattening!

Ooh, my dad. Nice colour, bad pose. lol!

My little brother and my second youngest cousin! (Boaz's older brother)

The three of them who ALWAYS play games together. Look at my brother's face, so excited.

My very tame cousin and I. She's in NPCC ok! Mai siao siao. lol..

Oops! My mom caught eating.
Oh, the whole family figured out why my mom exercises the most but still remain the fattest. lol. Every gathering that we have, EVERYONE sits down and chit chat, my mom will have something in her hand and she happens to be the only one eating.

Food.

The family sits down and eat. Erm, that's not all, the table's too small.. So.... I waited for all of them to finish, then I sat down peacefully for my meal. heh. Smart eh? I'm not afraid that the food will finish because there's plenty! Don't your grandma always cook extra? Enough to feed the whole army? lol.

Okay, now's the birthday boy's turn.

The cake! The whole barney is milk chocolate! Nice nice!

Cut cake cut cake.. But Boaz doesn't seem too happy about it.

Splitting the cake.

His presents! Two sets of clothes, a warmer and a pair of shoes.

My fav picture of him! hahah, can't see his face but this photo shows how tiny he is.

He's crying because his mummy snatched away something he's not supposed to play with.

Crawling to grandma..

CUTE RIGHT my cousin?! =DDDD

When I had my strained neck and untidy hair, I went back to my grandma's place for help. Everyone still goes to the wisest women of the house for help. My only grandma left. I want her to live till she gets to take care of my baby! =) I better marry soon. hahahha.

*

Having my period, wow, I didn't take any panadols! I survived with a hot tumbler. hahah. Pro heh? I almost died though. heee. I slept at 8pm last night and I woke up at 7.30am today. Still feeling so tired. I can fall asleep anytime. I think I'm trying to gain back my lack of sleep. -yawns-

No photos of me, I look like shit when I won't put on my concealer and stuff. Look at your shit and remember me.

Alright, got to go! Bye!

I'm VERY sensitive to comments.

2006-06-23T10:43:00.000+08:00

I'm not the emo, i-will-cry anytime kinda sensitive to comments. But, I'll be able to hear every single bit. Even those who mumble softly to themselves. I CAN hear.

Some may just mumble those comments because they are unhappy about it at that point of time. Or trying to tell someone else something, but half wish half don't wish that person to hear it. I'm sure many of us do that also.

A lot of us will say, "Don't like then just say it lar!" YEAH RIGHT. Easier said than done. How many, ask youselves, how many people are about to take it? To me, none. NO ONE ever took it well, at least for my circle of friends (if it's even big enough to form a circle - that's how small it is.). I don't like, I say. Sometimes if I'm the one getting that kind of treatment, I feel hurt and sad too. I guess if that person bothers to even tell me off, it shows something.

Of cause I have to see what comments that person gave lar. "You're so damn ugly, bitchy, slutty,blah blah blah" Ahhh. Throw out of the window. If I'm like that, too bad, I can't do anything about it. Ask that person to wipe his/her ass before wiping his/her mouth.

*

I guess ytd's cell spurred me to write that top para. hahha.

Anyway, I was telling Der that I think I'm better off a guy. I talk like a guy, I eat like a guy (not as much because I have a female physical body, remember? lol), I sit like a guy, my gestures are like a guy, I play games like a guy, I think like a guy, I do things like a guy, I scold like a guy blah blah blah.
But I have a female body.

I think I should go for a sex change.
Hmmmm. Crazy thoughts.

*

I think my staring and observant habit started when I was a baby. My grandma and aunts were telling me, everyone see me also scared because I would always stare at them, without saying a word.

My aunt told me that I stared, my eyes weren't the curious kinda eyes normal babies would have. My eyes seem like I was thinking and thinking. Like, "Why is her lip so red, why her eyes so small?" hahha. And my eyes wouldn't blink. I thought that was kinda cute for a baby.

You know babies always sleep in the sarongs? She said I would always lie in there, cross my legs, shake the upper foot (slowly that kind - relax kind) and seem like I was thinking about my life. hahaha.

She said the family always said, "xue ling (my chinese name) must be thinking of how to disturb grandma again." (chinese version (original one): xue ling you zai xiang yao ze me nong mama le.)

It's not my fault that I stare so much now, or look from the corner of my eyes. Sorry ar, it's trained since 19 years ago. hahaha. So stop challenging me, "see who can don't blink for the longest time!" -.- boring game. LOL.

*

My left shoulder is straining like no one's business. It's so irritating. Hmmm. It's okay, it's friday! I wonder where should we bring Joel on sat. Went to the airport to fetch him together with Der. We went to eat roti prata. Oooh, I finally know why the Upper Thomson's prata is nice. I like the crispy part! But the Milo dinosaur is like sugar. Being the famous "sugar alot alot one", I can't stand it too! eeeeyer.

Someone's going K-ing without me lor........ pang seh kia.

*

My log book is like 3 weeks not done. I'm dead. Whenever I think of it, I don't feel like doing it man. But I can blog for so long. Grrr. It's the task, not me. hahahha!

There's Creative sales at it's warehouse I think. Jurong East. =) I think it's quite cheap lar, according to EM.

Alright, I think I shall not blog further! Stupid me, I forgot to bring my memory card home. So no pics of ytd. =( Joel put on some weight though! heeee. Long hair. Shorter than mine lar.

Weekend is coming! YAY! Enjoy it! =)

This would be a longgggg weekend.

BTT * Dad's birthday

2006-06-22T11:27:00.000+08:00

Ok, here's a short picture post. My left shoulder is straining like hell. Pain pain pain! I hate it, I can't massage myself. I don't wanna put oilment because it'll stink the whole office. Grrr.

Okay, finally, I went for my long waited sushi buffet. Hmmm, I became full quite fast. Faster than usual. I think I was super thirsty and finished the whole can of green tea that I was feeling so bloated.

I didn't really like my face on the picture taken ytd at Sakae. So I didn't post it. Hee. I don't feel ask tired today, slept quite a lot. I took leave yesterday ma...

Oh ya, one good news, I PASSED MY BTT!! =DDDDD I didn't wanna really tell many ppl about it, later I fail damn paiseh. hahaha. But I passed! The questions were indeed very easy. But, I think FTT will be harder, much harder. Heng ar, multiple questions. If it's open ended one ar, die.

Ok, yesterday was my dad's birthday too. I suprised him with a cake at night, bought him his present - Perfume! ehhh, that sounds wrong.. How do you spell the 'perfume' guys use? Colone? Coglone? what?! hahahah.

The cake.

Dad and Mom!

Dad splitting the cake. heee.

His tiny lil' present. =DD Look at his cheeky smile. Look like he's holding some mouse by it's tail. hahha. Sorry Bra, took you as my example. =D

Dad's present.

I think it's the flash that made his eyes so small. hahaha.

Lao Fu Lao Qi watching tv..

I asked then to pose.. Then they did this. After I took the shot, my mom went, "Wei! why you take mummy's da tui! So ugly! Haiyeer."

Don't care, I'm still posting it up. hahahhaha.

Well, my dad commented, "This year's birthday is quite different." Yay! =D

*

If that post is for me, I just wanna tell you: Yes, you just said what I wanna say to you.
If that post isn't for me, I'll still wanna tell you the same thing. =)

*

Alright, I don't know if I'll be posting often now. Too lazy, it's just an excuse. But, I don't wanna elaborate more.

"It's because of people like you, God chose to look at the hearts of people, rather than just talk and more talk."

Bye..

Stiff face, because I'm not really used to taking pictures alone in public. HAHA!

Youth Camp.

2006-06-19T15:54:00.000+08:00

One of the camp commitee.
Did the least work.
Furthest away from the youth, now.
Tang Yuan cooking - crap.
When I arrived, everyone's falling alseep.
I didn't know why was I there for.
Oh, maybe the only thing I did right was, say some nice words at the end of the camp - during YF. Though I sort of forced them out. I really had nothing to say, wasn't there 9/10 of the time.

To fill up that slot for glutinous rice balls.
To take up Liru's bed on the last day.
To watch Da Chang Jin.
To sleep.
To keep Derrick busy driving me here and there.
To be just another someone to add to the number of heads.

Before camp, not excited.
During camp, not excited.
After camp, not at all excited.
Because, the cycle begins, once again.
It's the B part now. C will come sooner or later.

*

"Stayed because of them, leaving also for the same reason." Ironic.

"When other ppl's efforts goes unappreciated, they stop making it." Too late to amend, leave things the way it should be, by nature it should be like this.

"Very sad to say, that place isn't the place I seek help/refuge/comfort/friends/fun/a pat on the back etc. It used to be, but not anymore.."

*

I'm someone who don't normally show I care. Maybe my care and concern would just look fake. Enjoy your week peeps. I really envy those who are having hols now. I want my hols too. When can I get them?!

I know how to celebrate my 21 years old birthday already. I'll go malaysia or overseas alone.
Being alone sometimes is good.

Byeee..

Clubbing.

2006-06-16T09:36:00.000+08:00

Why don't I get to go! Blame myself, all my guy friends go. None of my girl friend goes.. SIAN. I think my parents have been reading too much newspapers and watching too many CRIME WATCH serials.. They keep repeating the same old thing to me. How old then will I be able to be on my own?? I'm on my own already, but still, there's restrictions.

They always say, "Why she don't have to go, you must go?" Sighhhh. I mean, different girls have different interests and wants right? I'm sorry that I'm not that goody goody stay at home and read books kinda girl.. It's quite irritating when my parents get over paranoid. Results in me looking like I'm some primary school kid.

"Why wanna go Malaysia? You never heard of cases where girls get kidnapped and raped or robbed???" - Like that then I don't have to go overseas already lor. I don't even have to go Orchard Road. Why don't they just tell me, recently got man chop up girl's body and throw into different areas of SG, better don't go Orchard Road.

When I was younger, sure, you can use these kinda reasons to stop me from going places that I'm not-up-to-it. Now, one year more to hitting the '2'. I don't even know what's night life really about.

When I say that, they'll go, "Why must at night? Day activities not fun meh?" GRRR.
WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME JUST TRY?!?!?!?!

I know they care for my safety and don't want anything to happen to me. But hey, don't you think it's time I go see the world for myself? I won't smoke, cos I don't like the smell of it and the smell that stays on after you smoke. I won't take drugs cos I'm a pussy cat. I will drink, but I know when is enough. And frankly speaking, I don't really enjoy these drinks. I'll still prefer my sweetened drinks. These are too bitter for me. Sorry ar, I don't know how to appreciate. It's no use for a girl to show how much she can drink anw. The more she tries to show, the dumber she looks.

I'm a bird, trying to break free from that cage.

*

I went to the camp yesterday. Stayed till about one plus I think.. Reached home at 2. Headed to sleep at 2.15am.. I wonder why do I always get really tired after I cook something (anything).

I was organising this glutinous rice ball competition, I cooked my share too. I cheated lar, I bought the ready-made ones. I just wanted to cook them so the commitees would get to eat nice ones. To pay for their hardwork. heh.. How I wish I could join them.

It's also good that I'm not there lar, I figured that my eyes would 'hurt'. Just a short while there last night, my eyes 'hurt' so terribly.

Poor Skunk, looking so tired already, it's only the second day. Poor MQ, fell sick and went home before I came.

Alright, I better go. =) I'm going to the Coca Cola factory later! Hmmm, I hope I'll learn something interesting.

why wanna be mature when you're just a kid? A kid, is what you are. don't act. it's really digusting. maybe that chapter will nurture you and you'll grow up. HOPEFULLY. because now, no one really cares abt your i'm-so-mature actions. they just swim in vomit, maybe just me.

Have you ever met someone like that?

2006-06-14T10:50:00.000+08:00

A guy I know. Well, I should call him boy. -looks at skunk and grin.. hehehe-

- you are not suppose to rebuke what he says.
- whenever you do, you get shot back with childish sentences.
- acts mature.
- tries to impress.
- give an attitude face and mumbles stuff about you while walking away when he loses.
- flirt. (very gd at it, confirmed and endorsed by others)
- childish. okay, maybe immature is something nicer? lol.
- finds lame excuses for not turning up at *****. (the number of * does not mean the number of alphabets for this word)
- finds fault with everyone without looking at himself.
- seems as though he's very religious.
- no experience at anything. (he'll claim he has blah blah, so... whatever!)
- doesn't know money comes from working not from parents.
- and the list goes on.... lalala~

How long can one act? Put a mask on his/her face? How long? Won't that person get tired?

Even if that person won't get tired, I'm beginning feel disgusted. VERY. I guess a few people knows about it, with my endless complains. I trust you, I tell you. Don't break it.

trying to impress isn't impressive.
By now, at one point in your life, you can easily tell if the person has a mind of his own, sensible, mature, knowledgable etc etc by the things he/she say/do/aspire to do... right?

Whatever.

*
Have to go down to the camp site after work tonight. Then rush home earlier to sleep for work tmr. =( The camp site is so so so so far! =(((( No choice. I'll take photos tonight!

I hope my battery lasts.. I haven't charge it since.... last monday? I think. hee.

I feel like sleeping. =(

What future has in store for me?

2006-06-13T16:58:00.000+08:00

I really don't know.

Would I get a good paying job? Enough to cover all my needs (at least) and my wants (at most)? Would you choose a high-paying job but you hate that job or a job with a low paying salary but you enjoy it a lot? I think I would choose the high paying job.

No doubt you work to find some meaning in working, but how long can that meaning last? Being a social worker, very meaningful right? What if you've worked as a social worker for like 20 years? Still meaningful, but.... it's just like other jobs, same old thing everyday. Right? Wrong?

I don't know what I'm talking. The best is, high paying job and it's a job that interests me. Good. I will work my whole life. hahahah.

*

EM's parents have a rule for their kids: You must have enough money to buy a house before you can marry.

I think that rule is quite good. At least when the guy can afford a house, he should have a stable income. At least won't starve to death after marrying him. heh. Guys that earn like 1k+ a little bit more a month, ha, forget it. I'm not gonna even consider.

Worse, the guy plans to stick to that kinda salary. I'm not being materialistic, I'm just being realistic. Ok, I'm not looking down on people who earns that amount.. It's totally fine with me having friends like that too. But if I were to choose someone for a husband, I'll look higher. At least if I drop my expectations a little, it wouldn't be that bad too. hahahha. That's for me. =)

I want a simple life too, who doesn't? But, too simple means harsh. Harsh life. =) Nono, I don't want.

*

Anyway, Der was telling me the other day. One of his girlfriend (she's 21 this yr) told him, "Nowadays for our age right, whenever we talk to a guy, we have to look at thier fingers before looking at the faces." VERY TRUE HUH? lol. She was talking to this super cute guy, but found out later that he's engaged/married. heh.

I don't think it's my turn yet. But soon. SOON. Now I still can afford to look at the FACE. heh.. =DDD

*

I can't wait to go to the Coca Cola factory! Did I say this? hmmm, MPA organised a trip there. We get to drink Coke for free and free lunch too! =D GOOD GOOD. I hope they allow us to take pictures.. I wanna take pictures!

Can't wear slippers, singlets and short skirts. Why singlets cannot? They even said it'll be hot there. Tank top considered singlets not? I wonder how it's like. Fresh Cola... mmmmm. *dreams* haha.

*

Youth camp is starting tmr. I can't go. =( I don't wanna take leave too because I have to go for my BTT next week. I think I'll fail my BTT. hahaha. I'm really bad at tests. Boo.

Oh ya, must suan Min here. MIN MIN, you take driving test le not? OH YA HOR, your birthday is end of THIS YEAR hor..... =DDDD

I better go and steal some stationary. It's free! Oops, my auntie jing shen is back again.

Bye!

2nd weekend of June.

2006-06-12T08:48:00.000+08:00

Ok... I didn't bring my camera back, I left it in the office. So... no pictures! hahhaha.

There are a few pictures I took last time.. but I'm too lazy to post them up. heee. I'll edit later on.

Let's see, what did I do on Friday ar? I forgot. Came to work, went for dinner and home. Normal, as usual.

Saturday was fun! hahhaa. Went over to Woody's place. His parents did a buffet gathering for his grandma's 80th birthday. JL, JJ, WH and me turned up. We ate like, pigs. Played card games most of the time and the number of cards left determines the number of items you have to eat at the buffet spread.

I ate like 18 items. JJ, 40+, JL, 20-30?, WH, I forgot.. Sher (Woody's sis), 18.

The next day I was so full of shit. Bloated and all, plus my period is coming. I think I'll be really short tempered these days. hahaha. My PMS is here to stay! =DDD
We laughed a whole lot too. JJ really can eat man. Woody, as usual.. always win. I don't know why man! Dai dee, Bridge, Mahjong... whatever! ALWAYS WIN. Buay tahan ar! haiyer.

JL, next time we should wisen up a bit, don't play with him. Only play those he'll comfirm lose one. If not we bo hua. lol.

Watched the soccer match, England vs Paraguay. It was quite nice at first.. in the middle, boringggg. Same old thing. I walked around the house, looked at the adults play MJ, eat somemore and settled back to watch again. =) Whooo. England won. Paraguay so cheater one. They almost scored once, but lucky missed by a little. heh.

*

Sunday... Went to church, after that went for band prac. Somehow I feel rather funny if Liru don't sing beside my ear. Like, something is missing. hahaha. I think I feel more confident if she sings with me. hahaha. Whenever I sing alone, I'll tug her shirt, beg her to sing with me. heehehe.

After that was home, felt quite irritated to be woken up by my parents half way through my sleep to go for dinner. They dragged me all the way to Tampines to eat lar! Then went to SAFRA to play golf. Nono, I didn't play. I rested in the car, waited for them to finish. How I wish I could drive. So I'll drive out and come back in an hour to pick them home. hahahhaa.

I guess that's all. I should have taken the camera home man, then I'll have loads and loads of pictures!!! =D I'll post pictures again later, I reckoned that I'll be really free today because my boss isn't around today, she's sick.

At 8:10, I was told that she came and left already. I'm like, " HUH?!?!?!? SO EARLY??" Sick still can wake up so early, pro.

It's such a nice whether to sleep today, I wanna sleep!!!!

Presents.

2006-06-07T12:29:00.000+08:00

Ehhh..What will you give a 80 year old grandma as a present? Don't tell me abalone, bird nest etc. I have no money! lol! Give me some suggestions ok? Thanks loads.

*

My boss isn't in the office today. I guess she fell sick. She took MC on Mon, she was in the whole of yesterday. But I could tell she almost couldn't make it.. heh. Hmmm. Today, she's on MC again. My LO is suppose to come today to meet my manager. Can't, manager's not in. heh.

I'm so hungry now! It's still like half an hour away from my lunch, and I have nothing to do. NOTHING! I changed my blogskin.. Played like a few games of Sudoku. still bored. Emails would come in once in a while, but I can finish it like in 10 minutes?

*

Ohoh, I have a little suprise for someone. teeheehee.

*

Oh yes! That piece of wood bought me a Esprit wallet! I was choosing between a belt and a wallet. I figured that the belt wasn't long enough (I don't like. hee). So I chose the wallet, and the more I look at it, the more I like it! Phew, at least this covers up for that rash decision to take the wallet. hahaha.

I have to blog this to remind myself and also to state it in words. Woody's gonna set aside an amount of money each month to buy stuff for me! The more I accumulate, the bigger the present! I shall not buy anything for like 2 to 3 years. muahahhaha. Woody, you better keep to your amount.. My patience for such stuff is good okay. =D I will wait for the years to pass.. =DDD At the end of 10 years, you'll have to buy me a car. lol.....

*

Youth camp's coming up, should I take Friday off? So I can stay over on Thursday. I don't know. June will seem like I'll be taking many time offs. I still have my BTT.. Talking about that, I shall go dig out the book. =)

*

I'm so looking forward to Saturday! It's time I tan myself. I hope everything will be fine, I would be able to get up early to tan. -yawns- After that would be, party! I feel like playing MJ. Even my mom's hands are itching!
She told me the other day that she saw my dad's squash players (ladies) were playing MJ at the club. The more she looked at it, the more her hands itch. haha. Too bad, my bro's not interested in MJ. If not just nice, four players. blehx.

Alright, I have to go already~ No pictures for today. I need to rest. hahaha. I don't want blogger to keep hanging on me again.
But what's a blog without the face of me?

TADAH.

bye bye bye~!

Liru's Birthday! 5th June 06

2006-06-06T12:24:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday SKUNK!!! =D

Here are the pictures! Hey skunk, I made it bigger sized for you k! The rest of my photos are small hor! Look at the LHP, so nice to you. hahhaha. Okok, enjoy the pictures!

Liru's birthday

The cake. Nice right?! So colourful. hehehe.

Looking at the cake in shock. (We gave her a suprise! =DDD)

Lighting up the cake...

MQ looks like she's vomitting. Skunk looks like she wants to fight someone. hahaha.

Birthday of cause got birthday song lar! Happy birthday to you.... You are born in the zoo.. (actually i'm correct. she's a skunk anw. hahahhahah!)

"Make a wish.... Make a wish..."

Blow wind blow!

Cut cake......

Our SS tradition. =D

The ah soh cutting the cake.. I'm the cake cutter for every birthday! hahah. Including mine. lol.

Adele..

Joanne and Gav.

Eating the cake..

Vain pok.

During YF. I like the first pic. hahah!

After church going to AMK for lunch..
We went to Suntec to the PC Show. WOW! So many people! Packed like sardine! I want ZEN MicroPhoto! I think it's that model. heh. So ex lar! $389. No money. Who will be kind enough to buy for me? purrrleeeeassseee?

Okay.......... I posted like a chunk of smaller pictures.. Somehow blogger ate them. GRRRR! So irritating!!! I'm not gonna post them already. =)

The whole deparment is talking about phones and more phones because the M1 Roadshow is coming to this building. They have coporate plans for MPA staff. So much cheaper! ahhhh. Interns don't get to xiang shou that kinda plans because we don't have a staff card. =(

My BTT is on the 21st of June. I don't even know what book am I suppose to study! ahahahah. How ah? Go there and die in the room. I heard from many people that their test rooms are all freezing cold. I must remind myself to bring a thick thick sweater in. Why can't we just drive like that... Still have to take so many tests.. So sian. =(

I'm so random today. Forcing myself to blog more. I like long long entries! =D I think the date today is nice. 6/6/06.
I will get married on the date something like that! =DDDD
5 years later, 11/11/11. Nicer right? Don't have the zero. Or 10/10/10. Or 12/12/12. Oh no! I have to get married by 2012. There's no 13/13/13 right?! =(

I wanna sleep now... So tired. My eyes. =( Chewing on my ding ding tang Roy bought for me yesterday. Okay, I got to go already. I'm so cold, forgot to bring my sweater for two days already.

I wanna paint my nails! What colour should I paint?

Bak Kut Teh, Mel's BBQ and Band Prac.

2006-06-05T15:26:00.000+08:00

Photos from Sat.. I still have photos from Sun, I'll post tmr.

At the bus terminal, waiting for the bus to eat Bak Kut Teh!

Snap shots from home..

At the BKT shop.

After that, I went to band prac already.

During band prac.

Der sort of destroyed the drumset.

Bra the drummer cum guitarist.

The violinist. - MQ!

The pianist cum guitarist. - Tab!

The back up singers. - LR and Char! =)

Random pictures with everyone.
I don't know why everyone has more than one musical talent. I don't even have any! BOOHOOHOO. Why why why?! I'm key deaf and tone deaf. hahhahaha.

Mel's BBQ

Food.

Mel and I.

It's been about 2 years since we saw each other. I'm amazed that not only we didn't feel awkward meeting up, in fact, we had a lot to say to each other! =D

I don't really have the mood to blog a lot now. Blogger kept hanging on my the whole day. Sigh. I'll post on Liru's bday tmr. =) Keep your eyes here! See ya ppl!

Password. EM. and 'You'

2006-06-01T14:08:00.000+08:00

I've already put a password on my blog. That was what I wanted to do in the past anyway. I think I've heard people say that this code is easy to break. It's okay.

At least I can block out those people who don't know how to break it, which is the majority. =D

I can say whatever I want!

Here's the irritating girl:

me: hey, do this.. i printed it from the e-mail.
* we're suppose to check every now and then whether there's e-mail for us to do.

irritating girl: no, i very busy now. i don't want to do.
*obviously, she's playing neopets or whatever rubbish. i'm the next person besides herself who will know whether she's done with her day work.

me: okay, i'll put this on miss goh's desk and leave a note saying you're too busy and you don't wanna do.

irritating girl: aiyah! i very busy now lar! i don't want to do.

me: ok, then i'll leave it here. (i hung the paper on the cubicle divider)

~~~ A few mintues later ~~~

irritating girl: -pulls the paper from the divider real hard- what is this?! hard anot? hard one i don't want to do.

me: no, it's just tanker endorsement.

(That email is just to ask us to UPDATE some stuff into the crew certificate details. That's all.)
This is not the point, the point is, what did she mean by 'hard one i don't want to do'? I already gave her the easiest thing to do lar.

Next point is, did I write anything on my face saying, 'Hey! I love to do tough jobs!' Who in the world likes to do difficult ones?
Argh. Pisses me off EVERYDAY.

She acts Miss Nice in front of the boss, behind her, she complains about her. Nod and nod at EVERYTHING the boss says. wei she me hai you zhe zong ren de?!

~~~ Lunch Break ~~~
I borrowed $10 from her because I didn't have small change. I told her I'll return her tomorrow when my mom deposits more money in my bank.

her: your mom give you how much money? she give you one month one ar?
me: ya..
her: she give you how much money?
me: a few hundred. (obviously at this point, I don't feel comfortable in telling her the exact amount right?)
her: how much?
me: a few hundred lor.. not much.
her: 400? (she's already pissing me off)
me: around there.

Not sensitive? No brains? What?!
*

The PC fair is on! hahhaa. Not that I'm very rich that I can afford anything there. I hope they will have like good bargains, so I can see if I can afford something. =DDD

It's at Suntec. I think it's at the Exhibition hall.. (info by my colleague cum friend - Tian An (TA).)

He's so nice, asked if I wanted to check out anything because he'll be there today. He's on leave. =D Thanks! Kinda bored that he's on leave.. No one to complain to, no one to talk to via e-mail. So SIAN.

He has a photo gallery. He takes pictures of flowers, buildings, insects etc. Everything but humans. -.- hahhaa. His skills aren't that bad k! =) Well, at least I couldn't do that. lol.

I'm so tired. I can't wait for friday to come. Oh! I have yet to prepare my PP! Die. hehe..

*

I have something that I wanna remove. I won't say till everything is confirmed. hee! Don't ask me! Don't. lol!

*

You.
- you were the one who made my heart bleed the most.
- you the one who made me shed the most tears.
- you made me fear relationships.
- you make me feel guilty whenever i neglect you when you were the one who abandoned me.
- you made me (as a little girl) give everything i once had to you.
- you were the one who caused me to like suprises.
- you are the only animal (in reply to the e-mail you sent ages ago).
- you were the one who saw me dance, 'cept my parents.
- you were the one who influenced me to eat the amount I'm eating now.
- you were the one I allowed to scold, shout and scream at me, even if the problem didn't lie with me.
- you were the one who told me I looked nice in that blue army prints sleeveless top.
- you were the one whom I cried buckets for, when you left the country. Returned with a necklace, some seashells and a t-shirt you said you bought it for youself but was too small, for me.
- you made me hate you.
- you were the one who left me with nothing, only a song.
- you were the one who made me decide to stand up, be strong, leave and never look back.
- you are the one, who left the biggest footprint in my life (for now).

Many more that I couldn't remember while writing this..

Once decided, it's a decision made.

Memories will always be memories. Good ones, I'll keep.

Thanks for once being in my life, you'll always be someone different in the eyes of mine.. =) I didn't dare promise I'll be always there for you, but you'll always be in my heart. Always.

"Because of you I learnt to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt."

Walls to see who cares.

2006-05-31T12:28:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

I got this from vonneee's blog. I think it's so true. Those who put walls up to keep people out, will not know they actually withdrawn already.

Those who realised that they have been more defensive, are the ones who wants to see who cares enough to break them down.. So true. So true... for me.

*

MPA had a mini excursion. haha. Actually every month MPA would arrange a 2 hr lunch to somewhere via the bus. This time was Chinatown.. I went there and bought a skirt! Sigh, I've not been shopping for a month. I can feel that excitement in me when I stepped into the departmental store.

How I wish I can shop... or rather, buy things! =DDDD

I have to prepare cell already. The trend before was paper style, now it's Powerpoint. Getting more hi-tech. I'll try with PP, i'm an idiot when it comes to this.. hahhaha.

TRY CHAR TRY!!! =)

Broken Wings.

2006-05-30T14:28:00.000+08:00

I'm an angel..

I have nothing to blog about though. hee. I'm just bored, so I'm here! =D I've been doing Sudoku in my office. There's this webbie I can print my puzzles from. heh. I'm too lazy to think, but I want to think. So, I printed the 'Medium' level.. hahha.

The bling bling Joanne gave me for my handphone, scratched my phone big time! So I took it off, sorry Joanne! Thank you anyway! =)

I feel like singing in my office, but I can't. Too quiet, I can't even hum the tune. =( I have nothing to do, work load is alright, therefore, none for us. =(

Came back from Harbourfront (lunch), bought nothing. Too broke. Bill is coming. I hate bills.

I'm so sleepy, I force myself to wake up every morning and drag myself to work. sigh sigh sigh.
I'm going off to do my Sudoku already! Oh, talking about it, MQ just bought a 601 puzzles Sudoku book for 10 bucks. Woot! So cheap! And... crazyyyy. Do one each day and you'll spend one and a half years finishing it. lol..

Just blogging for the sake of blogging.

nevermind the broken wings.

Great day, no colleague. Poseidon - movie. Band Prac.

2006-05-29T09:27:00.000+08:00

Haha! I'm happy at work today simply because she's on LEAVE!! I'm a happy girl at work! lalalala~ Quick, congratulate me! =DDD

There isn't much work today. So bored. My boss is on course, so there won't be much work. I'll just slack in the office and post more pictures. =D Don't you peopl love it when I blog in the office? I can't be bothered to go online when I'm at home nowadays. I'm like ONLINE everyday? lol.. It's a pity that I can't get on MSN, if not, I'll be chatting away by now! Hmmm, what's the reason companies don't allow MSN ar? It contains viruses? I wonder.

What pictures have I not posted up? hmmm. I'll check later on.

"Your light will shine when all else fades.." - Nice phrase. I like. =D

Saturday was nothing, just band prac. Met up with Wood for lunch and movie. hahaha. Watched Poseidon. I think the guy, Delan (I think it's spelt this way), was so smart! I think he knew the ways through the ship. He studied the layout of the ship, and got out through the holds that was to be filled up with ballast water. This show is good. haha. I feel lar.

Though the things they potrayed are basic stuff about a ship. At least the producer did some homework before filming it. =) I like the part where the ex-mayor did the last push on the button 'Port' before drowning in the control room. So touching, so... argh, he just believed his son-in-law-to-be in the end. =D Oh! The ring the son-in-law-to-be gave his daughter..... -slurps- so big!!! and nice!!! =D I want!! But then again, if I were to be given such a big ring, I don't know if I dare to wear it out. haha. What if I get robbed? Kidnapped? Murdered for it? ahhh, paranoid.

The ballast tanks were filling up one by one. I whispered to Woody, "The ship will tilt to one side later on.." And it did! hahaha. I'm so smart. I kept on telling him I'm so smart! Aiyah, nothing to be proud of, hahahha, I think some normal person would have guessed it also. hahaha. Just wanna boost my ego. heeee.

It's kinda sad too.. Everyone on the ship died one lot by one lot, only that few who dared to try, survived. I knew all of them in the ballroom would die, somehow. The whole stupid ship was capsized ok! Those in the dancing room were killed by the electricity. very sad. =( Those in the ballroom, all drowned, at the last minute.

I was wondering, if everyone in the ballroom clinged on to something, hacked the window to let the water come in. Hold their breath and swim out of the broken window later on? Or is the pressure too great, results in killing all of them? I don't know.

Sad show. If you don't understand what the survivors are talking about while trying to get out, that's very sad. It's the best part of the show!

*

I feel like eating sushi so much! I want sushi!! SUSHI!!! I think I won't be able to go to the sushi buffet till I finish my attachment. They don't have it on weekends, 'cept for some places.. boohoohoohoo... =((((

*

Oh ya, I have some pictures from the 'concert' thingy I went. I'm not gonna post it up because you can't even see who's on stage. haha. There was Taufik, 5566 and Dong Fang Bi Li as their guest stars. When they announced 5566 to the stage, woah, LOUD screams. hahaha. The other two had their share of screams, of cause 5566 had the loudest amount of screams. hahah!

I was kinda excited. Ehhh, I haven't been to these kinda concerts mah.. So excuse me a little can?! I was like squeezing and grabbing Wood's arm. hahha. I was tugging at his shirt badly too. He just said, "Tsk! You look like those aunties who came to support the Dong Fang Bi Li one you know! HAIYOH...." Grrrr.

Whatever manz. hahhaha.

Oh ya, something stupid we did.. We went to queue at the back of the large crowd. Only to find that we had the honour to stroll in another 'special' entrance called the 'Premier Entrance'. I was the smart one who felt that it was weird that we were queuing. First, our tickets had alloted seats for us, the other people were holding 'Free Seating' tickets. And ours, is 'A', which means our seats are right at the front/ near the front. How can it be that we're squeezing with the rest? Secondly, the others had 'North Entrance', 'South Entrance'.. Ours were, 'Premier Entrance'.

So, I told him to go ask, and tadah! my guess was right. RIGHT. Grrr. We queued for quite some time okay. Dumb piece of wood. lol.

*
And I just realised, I've already posted all pictures. =D So... No pictures for today.

*

Camp meeting later, at Sarah's place, 8pm. I wanna sleep! After 10 over days of keeping a plain and tasteless diet, I wanna eat so many things! I wanna eat Katong Laksa too! ahhhh.

Okay, I better go, I think I'll add some more stuff if I have things to write about later on. =)
Bye peeps! Bye Bye! BYE!

Very tired at work.

2006-05-26T11:05:00.000+08:00

I'm very tired at work. Mentally tired..

Each time I step into the office, I feel tired. I don't know how long I can hold on like this. I really don't know.

Now she's trying her best to outdo me. It's not like I'm stressed over it. It's just that, the pressure she's putting on me? Like, my boss won't know the 'back scenes', the only thing she'll see is the results at the end of each month. EM takes the 'initiative' to go get more certificate applications to do, just for the sake of 'because I wanna issue more than Char'.

Many of you would say maybe I'm too sensitive or sth, but I'm the one in the situation and I think I know it best? In the past, she'll just sit there and play her Neopets (ya, a 25 year old obsessed with Neopets) after her work (work that the boss would give each morning). Now, wow, she becomes damn hardworking and starts taking the 'initiative' to do more work!

And amusingly, she always stops just after the mark, 'more than Char'.

Why, I wonder.

One day if I blow up, I wonder what I'll say man. The only thing I can think of now is, "Your life is such a joke. You know what's a joke?" And walk away.

I can't stand it. What can I do? I have like 10 over weeks more with her? God... take her away. Just do it. Pleaseeeeeee. Change my department, company, change her away, whatever! I just don't wanna see her!!!

I've never felt so strongly (in a bad way) about someone before. I think it's because I face her everyday. I think when school starts, I'll feel happier.

At least I know Min won't do this to me. Min... I miss you, darling... =(((
At least I know Woody won't irritate me...
I wonder how's Alex.
I wonder how's Arthur.

=(((((((((( I miss miss miss, EVERYONE!!! =((((((((((

Next,

Alright, photos from the East Coast Park with Woody.
(At least something I'm happy doing now, blogging and looking at my photos.)

I was eating my dumpling at United Square. Too hungry, can't wait. lol..

Some photos while waiting for the cab to bring us to ECP, took so long to come lor..
6th pic, I was trying to take myself. He went to spoil it. Tsk.
8th pic, so uncle style. hahah! He just got bored of waiting.

1) In the cab. 2) Reached ECP! Happy boy.

1) Me. Nothing much. 2) A pic together while sitting there!

In the cab, going back..

Some identical stuff we have. heh. Our stainless steel rings!
Well, we figured that this won't tarnish, so it's a good investment. Better than always changing a new one. Accumulates more cost in the end. hee.

Next,
Went for CG yesterday. Stayed over at Joce's place, sudden decision. heh. Thus, I got myself this name, 'Charlene Adam Lee'. - because I was weird to stay over at such a weird timing. haha. Woody said so. Idiot.

We slept quite early, I had work the next morning (today). haha.

CG was not too bad. The three girls went back sooo early! blehx. No fun. =((( Uh huh! Now I know! Skunk's left knee can hit! -smack!-

Bad news at night. I guess it'll soon be 'reversed'. =)

i was flipping though that drawer of mine. i realised it was me, who lacked in the big alphabet 'E'.
but i realised only now.

30 days more till the day i can see my tolerance for 'that' kinda thing. i shall put a smile on my face, if i still can. hahah.

New blog skin.

2006-05-25T16:59:00.000+08:00

I've got a new blog skin! wheee.

I kinda like it. I expanded the width of the body because I needed the space to put my photos. lol.

I'm too bored at work already. See! I even had the time to change my blog skin!

Well, I went to watch Da Vinci Code last night. I like the way he wrote the codes. That's about all. But I could hear the sudden breathing out kinda breaths when Teabing said Mary was Jesus' wife. Hmmm. I wanna watch Poseidon next! I'm in the shipping line you know.. Of cause I'm interested lar. heehee.

MQ said I can go see if the crews at the bridge faked all the signals and stuff. Well, Titanic did. The codes the crews used were a load of rubbish. The producer didn't find out the proper 'language' in shipping. So I'm gonna see. hahha.

I'm weird, I like more technical shows. Like, how I wished they would talk more about why did Titanic sink rather than focus on the lovey dovey part. I know it's impossible to focus on the technical part because, it'll only draw viewers like me! And the percentage of it is like, 1:100? lol.

Next,

I walked into office with a shock. Woody msged me saying JL and his gf wants to have dinner with us tonight. I was like, ?!?!?!?!?!?!!??! I gasped very loudly, EM asked me why, I said, "My friend has a gf!!!!" lol.

She was laughing at me, frowning, "Why? That's good what.."
"It's not good or what, but but!! He's the kind that I won't think he'll get attached so fast! Furthermore, he's quite against love/relationships.", I replied.

Hiyah, I asked JL, stupid Woody faked me. That girl is a Spanish, and JL won't accept a Spanish girl (but, who knows huh. lol). I was happy for nothing man.. =(((

I'll be ending work soon. SOON!!

i will make it. i will be able to stand it. char, you can do it! close one eye, in fact, both!

Women's thing.

2006-05-24T15:50:00.000+08:00

trust a woman's instinct.
most of the time right.

and it's more or less right.
will I be able to handle it?

we'll see.

Photos of Nat's Bday stayover and Mother's Day.

2006-05-22T14:52:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm back at the office. So here are the pictures! hahaha. I'll post pictures of the ones taken at Nat's birthday stayover ok? I'll post the rest bit by bit..

We waited for Nat to come home, sang the birthday song, blew the candles. Big kiss from his girlfriend, Vic.. lol. Family photos, Saltshaker photos etc.

After everything, the youths played RISK.

Let's start!

These are the members...

Everyone was happy playing. Till... Look at the picture below, can you spot Joce (Yellow)?

The murderer of the ducky troop was.......

Jeremy!!! With his murder evidence.

Bra was just trying to be funny in the first picture, I'm the black one. Though I did lose in the end.. I suck at Risk man.

Next morning.

Teacher teaching her students how to fold paper cranes and swans. I had one hand made one from the teacher herself - Liru!! =D

But what can I do to keep myself busy? Even Tab was playing the guitar. Take pictures of cause!

Liru and Tab with me.

Bra and Lyd with me.

The last few were... haha, we had nothing to do. LOL.

Oh ya, I forgot to take pictures with some people. MeiQing, Sarah, Roy, NAT! (The bday boy!!!) etc.

Okay, maybe I shall post the Mothers' cum Grandmothers' Day pictures. heh.

Me first.

Grandma and I and Mom and I. I just woke up lar, so my eyes a little red..

My dad and my brother. Shuai not my dad? lol. Sometimes he just wants to be a little more funky, then he'll dress like an ah-beng. Well, he WAS one anyway. hahah.

Guess what my Dad asked us all to do before we could get our seats (there was a lot of people)?

See what's in front of them? Yes, POOL. He said, "Aiyah, waste time waiting, sure very long one. We go play pool better. Come." O.O

I didn't play though. Just woke up ma, wanna eat only. Look at the second picture, my dad, stand like some 'qian bian' kid. lol.

I didn't take pictures of the dinner though. Crabs! My favourite seafood! Busy eating, no time for pictures. Food more important. hahaha.

Okay, that's all for today. Enough? Bye!

Lost and am losing.

2006-05-18T11:41:00.000+08:00

I just wanna die. My lips are killing me. My ulcers... you don't wanna see. sigh. Even Woody frowned at the sight of it. =( It's really disgusting lar.. It's pus-ing now. lol. <<< and I still can laugh. -.-

Have been quite tired these few days. Hmmm, why is it that peopl get tired whenever they fall sick ah? Even though the medication doesn't cause drowsiness. I think it's the sian-ness that causes us to wanna sleeppppp....

Here's something I've always admitted to myself, but never to anyone.
The friendships I lost or am losing, I blame myself. I always rant about 'it takes two hands to clap' blah blah blah.

In fact, whether is it true that it's because of me or not, I blame myself. Even though I feel that I've put in a lot of effort for one particular friendship, and I can't find anything that I've done wrong, I still blame myself.

I push all the blame to: "It's just me."

Next,

I just wanna sleep for a long long time... I'm so tired. Physically I mean.

Oh! Last night's conversation was so interesting! hahaha..
I was talking to Woody before I slept. Well, I didn't exactly talk, I was humming the sound of each word. He could understand! =DDDD

I was quite amazed. But the next morning (today) he told me he was used to that. His sister and him talks like that to his mom in the morning when they just woke up. CHEY. I thought he understood my 'ying' of words, so he could figure what I was saying.

The conversation turned out to be very funny! lol. I could even scold him. "so sTupid." LOL!!!
He was singing this chinese song in a "sa ji's" voice. He didn't wanna stop. So, everytime he started singing that, I'll hum very loudly the song that goes, "shen ah, jiu jiu wo ba!"

He laughed and laughed. Stupid me, can't laugh. My lips will tear. It'll bleed. boo. =(

Another funny thing: Normally I'd rather not talk on the phone when his background is very noisy. So yesterday he was flushing the toilet bowl, I hummed, "very noisy!"

He said, "but... I wanna pee.."

"But very noisy!!!!", I hummed.

Then he said, "Huh.. but I wanna pee, can I pee?"

hahahha. so cute right, how can I say cannot...?!

I really wanted to say cannot, to enjoy more of the cuteness. But aiya, don't torture him lar.

Next,
I just came back from the toilet. My ulcer split. A whole lot of blood oozed out. My face was feeling tight from the aircon. So I sort of rubbed my face a little. Then the skin pulled my ulcer, so it split.

My ulcers on my lips never seem to get better. sigh. It gets worse each day. How, how, how?!

One of my colleague passed me a packet of herbal tea drink. So nice of her. Told me to put some lip gloss so my lips won't be that dry.. I did, and it's quite good.

I really feel like going home.... and sleepppp.

I need a long hiatus.

2006-05-17T11:29:00.000+08:00

"Where do I belong?"

Is this world just full of crap?

- As I finished this sentence, I don't know what else to say.

I live for God, not for men. (I shall use this to encourage myself.)

Why do people always misinterpret my words? Do I look like I hate everyone? argh, nvm.
If nice words are only what people want to hear, that's easy.

I really wanna migrate. I think it's not possible. I asked my dad before, he said he's not planning to. Maybe I will.

Bah.

Preview of my long weekend!

2006-05-16T10:49:00.000+08:00

I'm sick, having a fever now. It's getting better already.

I shall just say what I did in the weekend first. Too lazy to put pictures yet. There'll be lots and lots of pictures! I'm so excited.

My head's spinning a little. Shall go rest in the office.

My boss was so nice, she told me if I can't take it, I can just leave. Nice right? She asked me to let her know. I think I'll just take a few hours off or something. I'll clear all my work before I leave.

Ok, here's what I did during the weekend.

Thursday night after work, went for cell and stayed over at Tab's place (I think this is the reason why I'm so 'heaty' now..)
Friday - Mother's Day celebration w/ Grandma!
Saturday - Nice day spent at the beach with that piece of wood. teeheehee. My kind of saturday too! =D
Sunday - Church then home.
Monday - Out with Rane! (I don't have pictures for that, it's all in her cam. I'll prob get it from her.. Rane! send me! lol..)

Tuesday, back to work with a fever. =(

Alright, gotta go. Bye!

Nothing much.

2006-05-10T12:01:00.000+08:00

I realised I'm someone who will trust people, but once you break it, the chance of getting it back is close to never. Not just about trust, other things apply the same way too. However, I don't bear grudges too. hahaha. Get what I mean? hmmm. Nvm.

What kinda stuff do you people like to see on my blog? hmmm. I really don't know what else to put leh..

"Wisen up, young lad. People have been giving you enough grace. You won't like it if you see their REAL faces. -wink- Esp mine. =) (Though I'm already showing like most of my displeasure in you.)" - how far can a person stay ignorant?

No wonder I feel like vomitting these days. No wonder I feel faint. No wonder I have serious eye bags. No wonder I've been feeling bloated. No wonder..... I've got my period! It came yesterday just as I was leaving the office. Oh mannn..

Gosh! I just remembered! How am I suppose to stay at Tab's place? It's ok, I'll monitor the flow. hahha. I sound like a doctor.

Next,

The Second Deputy Director gave us (EM & I) a task to do by next Wed. We were suppose to come up with a short ppt (about 10 min) to describe briefly what shipping is all about for people who do not even have the slightest idea of what is shipping.

I'm suppose to come up with the information and EM's suppose to do the graphics. I'm an idiot when it comes to creativity and graphic. I just can't! Why huh. =(

You'll notice me signing again and again on my bulletin every sunday because I think that's the nicest 'drawing' I can draw. lol.. I can't draw for nuts too. I'd love to be able to draw! Unfortunately, I can't. -sobs-

Next,

Maybe I'm gonna go get my stainless steel ring today! Or maybe not. I'm sick of those rings tarnishing and changing colour. Lousy. Obviously I can't afford those from the jewellery stores lar!

But if any of you wanna get it for me, I'll take it! hahahha.

Next,

Hmmm. Joce is grumbling and grumbling that she's extending her job for another two weeks. Hey... I'm STUCKED at my job for the next 4 to 5 months can?! I don't even have the chance to make a decision on whether I want to stay. I HAVE TO! grrr. Stupid girl. Provoke me only. grrr.
hee.

Camp meeting at my house yesterday. Not bad. Actually wasn't very fruitful lar. We didn't really plan anything. It was more on the follow-ups on what had been done already. The camp site isn't that nice. No field and strict rules. blehx.

"Mai tang yuan... Mai tang yuan.... Xiao ge de tang yuan, yuan you yuan.." -> have anyone heard of this song? hmmm. The rest of them laughed at me when I sang that. Joce even thought I made it up myself. -.- I didn't! My grandmother really sang that to me when I was young! hmph, why like this... like some stupid girl singing some stupid song I 'created' myself. grrr.

Today...~ Toda....ay...~ - hahhahaahahah~ MQ will laugh at me again. I think I'm mad.

Christabel patted and 'sor' (what's 'sor' in english ar?) my head yesterday! Of cause it's after I did something stupid. I think it was the tang yuan song I sang.. Felt like a small girl! haha. It's been like so long since someone did it to me. lol..

Gotta go already! "Goodbye to you my trusted friend......." lol. I'm turning mad.

Deep - Fried

2006-05-09T11:56:00.000+08:00

My brain got deep fried. I'll cease to think and analyse. Besides giving advice, I should only think and analyse when asked or it's a life and death situation. If not, I'll keep my mouth shut.

Maybe I shall not help people all the way. I should give my advice, and that's it. I wanna stay close and yet far away from the youths.

Last night, I stood at the window pane, I can't help but ask God, 'Help me, will You? I beg you, help me.' Everytime whenever I'm sad and I happen to be in my room, I'll sit by the side of my bed and stare into the sky. It's like me looking up at God. It only happens at night lar. If not by now, I'm blind already. lol.

I wasn't a tolerate girl in the past, perhaps that explains why I have no friends, so I changed. When I do, people take my tolerance for granted. Still, I tolerated. Last night, I just 'exploded' within. I thought to myself, 'Maybe this is the last help I would render."

I will turn into my i-dont't-care and i-don't-know mode.

Well, is 'hypocrite' this word for me? I wonder. All these while, I treated my friends and showed them ME. ME and nothing else. Maybe I'm wrong.

And when I don't like someone, that someone will know it. Unless he's a retard. He/She will sense something is wrong at least... I show people face, it's no EQ, not what an growing adult should do. I don't show it, be nice and tolerant, I'm a hypocrite. Great. So should I just go up to heaven now? I'll come down if I can to tell the world how it is wise to live your life. ok?

I don't know why some people have to sound so saint and perfect. Disgusts me so much.
I don't know why some people have to cause so much trouble and continue to be ignorant.

I think I shall learn from Liru, don't like, don't talk. HAHA. Nice strategy, stink. Why never teach?! tsk.

Is telling the truth to someone about another person, backstabbing? I wonder again. I did nothing but tell the truth. Is that considered? If I don't maybe I'll 'explode' within again. The previous time I challenged myself how much I could tolerate. Now I know how much. Maybe this time I shall challenge myself, how many times I can 'explode' within before I black out?

I don't offend you, you don't offend me. - Is this easy to follow?

I told Woody this, I'm a human too. I need someone (other than God) to be there for me just like how those people out there needed me for advice.

I really don't wanna tell people, don't ask me any advices unless it's a life and death situation. Because I know there are nice people out there. People who are true to themselves and people around them. I will wanna help those people if ever they need me.

Like I've said, I'm human. It's my natural instincts to tell myself to stop if I get hurt too much. No matter how many times the Bible says, "Love your neighbour as yourself.", I can't just let myself get hurt again and again. Humans love themselves more than other people, naturally.

Aiya, I don't know if I made sense lar. My brain's fried. I feel like eating Goreng Pisang.. suddenly.

Continue.....

My life, I run. Other people's lives, who cares. Ahhh. I feel a lot better. Now I shall be totally not complicated. I'll talk to you in a very mean way, if I don't like you. Meanie mean mean.. I'm mad. Too bored at work. I wanna post pictures, but don't know what's nice to post leh. =(

I'll probably not talk too much at cell, even if I see something wrong. Shut up, Char.
-zip-

hahhaha. Eh Woody! I'll still rant at you ok! Don't think you can escape... yours ears are mine! Surrender now. I'm too bored... Wei.. why are you always busy at work and I have nothing to do? And great, now Edwin told you what you're doing can let you earn tens of thousand.. Share with me lar.. Selfish. I know what company should I name yours if you join Edwin next time - Ed & Wood Shipmanagement Pte Ltd.

I'll go help you check if this company's name is taken. But I doubt so lar. So dumb. lol!

BIG BIG SUNFLOWER!!!!

My first and only sunflower. -big grin-

Bukit Timah Hill.

2006-05-08T11:29:00.000+08:00

I actually climbed up and down the hill! hahaha. It was a great achievement!

Okay, my stamina was good when I was younger. It went down hill since I stepped into secondary school life. haha. I was in the school team for Netball in primary school, dance in secondary school (ok, don't laugh). I prefered Netball of cause. I'm not an arty person. I'm more a sporty person. hahah. Believe it or not! =D

Anyway, I took some pictures of the trip there with some of the youths! Good trip made! =D I'll post the pictures later on.

Next,

There was one period of time all I cared about was looking pretty (though I'm not pretty). I mean, I cared more about my outer appearance more than my inner self. I was into looking at mags, make up tips and stuff.

As I grew older, I realised I'm really lacking in my inner self and knowledge. - I didn't even bother reading up newspapers, my english was a whole mess, my brains had nothing knowledgable. BIMBO. I told myself, I don't wanna be a BIMBO. I don't!

So what if I dress nice but I have nothing nice on the inside? I changed my habit, read newspapers, get to know more political stuff, improve on inner beauty (not that good lar. haha. improving right) blah blah blah. I feel more confident in talking to people now, including strangers. hahah.

I'm outgoing by nature, and I warm up very fast in the midst of new faces too. However, I couldn't hold a proper conversation well. It was just crap crap and more crap. That's all I did. BIMBO right?

I wasn't interested in any other topics but make-up, fashion, shoes, clothes, bags, having bf, talking about guys blah blah blah. And at each point of time I felt I was old enough to do adult stuff and I'm matured enough. Now if I see the same old me in the mirror, I'll tell myself, "Char, shut up. You are so childish." lol. =D

I WAS a real bimbo. hahahha. Maybe to smarter people I'm still a bimbo and I admit I'm vain (but which girl's not vain?! hmph.). At least I know and am starting to not be one..

I feel sad for girls who are taking or are in my footsteps. The fact is, they won't admit/know that they are bimbos (just like me!). Besides feeling sad, there's nothing I can do about it but to wait for them to grow up. An online friend told me, "You can't run other people's lives for them." - which is very true..

A very good advice from her again was, "Only give advices under two circumstances. One, only when asked. Two, if it's a life and death situation." - which is very true TOO.

In this way, I won't get mistakened by people who don't think I care and that I'm just a kpo. =)

Okay, very boring hor my entry? okok. Interesting part..

Pictures! =D (Captions above)

On the way there...

I didn't take pictures of us in the bus. I was kinda sleepy. hahah. After lunch ma....

When we arrived..

While they were looking at the map trying to figure which path to take, I was cam whoring. hahhahaha. =S

Calling Roy, asking where was he..

Rubbish pictures I took..

Cool guy of the day. hahah. Black and White.

We started!!! =D (What's with MQ's face.. -.- hahhaa.)

This was where we planned to go..

Look at the steps.. high, high, high!

On the way... Walking...

(I didn't take much of the 'during the walk' pictures. I was panting, laughing and walking fast. hahha.)

We reached the top! YAY!

Nice place at the top though. heh. It's a little too sunny for me lar. If you go there in the evening it'll be nice. With breeze and stuff.

Walking back down. Wow, much better. hahah. So much easier!

You see these steps? From the side of the track it's nothing, but when you look into the track, it's those STEEP steps!

Done with the journey up and down! I'm alive and kicking! lol.. So is everyone. hahaha.

What are you doing Joce? lol..

Some of the after-journey shots. HEE.

The monkey on the left picture was so cool k, he was resting his both legs (crossed) on the trunk and his butt sitted on the railing!

DA VINCI building. I bet those furniture costs a bomb man. My husband should be able to afford this, if not, fat hope in marrying me! hahaha.

After going to Macs for a drink and lunch..

I waited at the bus stop for my bus for so long! Took 157 to TPY in the end. Look at the sun. And I look retarded in that photo. But I just wanna show that the sun was blazing hot!

FINALLY, home!

Bathing time!
BatheD. =D One happy girl. In my sleeping suit. hee. I buy these from the Pasar Malam (Night Markets we have under our blocks every now and then..) I love them! I've been wearing them for many years! hee. I feel weird sleeping in other clothings.. MUST slp in these. hahaha.

I like my hair after I bathe. Cos it's fluffy and straight. My hair is VERY fine and little. So after a while, it all rests on my head, flat and ugly. eeeks.

That's all for my trip man. Why so many photos recently?? haha. There goes to prove how slack I am in the office. hahaha. Not slack lar, but the boss doesn't give enough work to last me the whole day. This is what I call efficient worker. =DDD

BYE!

Amazing things about 'life'

2006-05-06T22:41:00.000+08:00

It's amazing that Captain's Ball needed serious training.

It's amazing how people can act out their lives.

It's amazing how childish people can get.

It's amazing how people can live in denial.

It's amazing how people use sentences I used when I was in primary school.

It's amazing how I can tolerate for so long.

It's amazing that all the above are so amazing.

Am I to laugh or what?

Would anyone like to do double work?

2006-05-04T12:32:00.000+08:00

Does anyone in the right frame of mind who wanna do double work? Well, she* does.

We're issuing certificates now, we need an authentication letter from the authority stating this cert is genuine. However, the letter is photocopied/faxed here so we cannot see the real stamp. She asked me if this can be accepted, I said I'm not very sure, don't think so. I asked her to confirm with the boss before she proceed.

Because, if the boss doesn't approve that letter, the whole chunk of applications cannot be processed. So, I adviced her to ask the boss first. What if the boss accepts that letter?

She said, "Aiya, I lazy to walk there, I just give them 3-months endorsement."
I said, "Why don't you go and ask Miss Goh (our boss) if she accepts? If she does, then you don't have to give 3 months endorsement and have to re-type the whole chunk again later what.."
She replied, "Aiya, nvm lar, I lazy to walk there."

I'm like, huh?! If she just spend that few seconds to walk there, ask the boss, she doesn't have to type and edit again right? WEIRD.

That's why she's always slow. Things that ppl thinks it's important, she doesn't think so. She's not irritating because she's irritating. She's irritating because she's weird.

She does these kinda things everyday. I'm here trying to make her life easier, so she can finish her work faster. She doesn't listen. She's VERY slow already. Not just slow, she makes countless mistakes, sometimes the boss has to answer for her. She thinks it's ok, "just write letter only ma, delete charge lor.. what's the big deal."

Of cause she can say that lar! She's not the one doing all these what. Then I said, "They have to raise credit note you know?" She say, "Raise lar!" I told her people don't like to raise credit note because it's a very tedious process, esp when we're in the govt sector, every detail has to be there. She says, "Aiya, nvm one lar... -frowns at me-"

I hate to hear her say nevermind. She always neverminds those that have to mind one. How infuriating can that get?!

STUPID.

Next,

I'll be having cell group later! =D Oh ya, I registered for driving yesterday. Many thanks to MQ who accompanied me there. hahaha. Wait for me! BTT will be in June. One thing good about Ubi than BBDC is, I don't have to go to the lessons, no evaluation, nothing. Just the trial run (no need to pass also can) before the real BTT (which is half and hr before). Settle in one day. Even if I fail my BTT, I don't have to go through the hassle of having to pass evaluation first. Shiok? I think it is! haha.

I hope I'll be able to get my lisence by Sept. School's opening by then. =D

Gtg work! Bye!

ARRGHHH! How can anyone be so stupid?!

2006-05-03T15:00:00.000+08:00

I'm blowing my top... very very soon. I'm starting to be very blunt with you. I've never seen anyone so stupid like you.

You are so stubborn on your STUPID THINKINGS. Which is obviously WRONG. I don't get it why can anyone work with you! Retard. I'm stucked with you for so long! Help me. The boss is getting fed up with you for doing your work half-way, letting her clear the bloody mess, asking me to teach you when you don't even ask me for IMPORTANT things! You only ask me those redundant STUPID questions which any other IDIOTS would know! Those things you think that are not important, it is actually VERY important! You only care about things which are so not IMPORTANT!

You're seriously pissing my head off! People tsk me for saying that you're stupid, but really, who can be more stupid?! If you're wrong, jolly well accept it and CHANGE. STOP whining to me and proving that you're right and your boss is being fussy! GET IT?!

Our boss is not fussy, at least to us, okay? She has been really nice cleaning up the mess we leave behind EVERYDAY.

SHUT UP WILL YOU? How I wish you're never in front of me. It makes me sick, just facing you everyday. Notice me stooping low in my desk everyday? That's because that little view of the top of your head is bad enough! Argh!

I've been trying to be really nice to you, smile at your whinings and sometimes agree with you so that life here wouldn't be that bad (though I really feel so stupid agreeing with you). I've given you enough grace. Enough is enough okay?! Since you hate it here, ask for a transfer, quit, whatever!

I don't need someone who's not worth it to ride on my credits!

I've tolerated all your more-work-to-me and less-work-to-you kinda attitude, I believe working more is never harmful. Now we're getting separate work, and you're still as irritating! I can't stand it anymore. I've NEVER tolerated someone so badly before, I tell you.

Not fit for office work, get out. Go back to your sales.

I'm not done yet. This is just half the things you do.

I'm still putting on a SMILE. Trying very hard to. Okay? Don't push me further. Don't~

I think she doesn't like me. Who cares?! I don't like her either! Piss me off and then come try lick my boots. YUCKS big time.

Since the both of us don't like each other, stay out of my way, I'll never cross yours.

-storms out- ARGH!

Next,
Photos taken from the trip to the Passenger Ship - M.V. Lucky Star
(Captions below)

This the old kind of Life Boat. Open air kind.. See the semi circles? They are the 'seats.' lol!

The Safety Officer and the Engineer trying to start the engine of the boat (we're checking/surveying ma.. hee.)

"Now it's working, is it ok?"

Another view..

This is the even older version! No engine i think, the two hand bars are for them to roll the boat manually.

This the covered one. I would wanna be in this than those up there! hee.

These are the pipes leading to the top, it emits smoke. Wow, this room is really hot. The pipes look small here eh, but it's really huge!!

Sentosa! See the cable cars?! It's been a long time since I went to Sentosa to tan. I'm so fair now! =(

Sentosa. Hmm, I took it when the sun was blazing hot, why did the picture turn out to look as if it was cloudy? Beats me.

Since I'm a hamster, I would like to introduce one of my characteristic:

TADAH!

Cute right? It's a poster at one of the bus stops near my work place. I bet most of you have seen it. When I saw it, so cute!! =D

Chinese Garden - sweet. (Butterfly and Goat, yum!)

I hope these photos don't go 'X' again. heh.

Package Outing and Ship Survey

2006-05-02T16:07:00.000+08:00

Hey! Did you guys enjoy your long weekend?!

Package Outing - 1st May

We were suppose to meet up at 3pm. Min came at around 4pm. The rest? 6pm. Late, forever late! Everytime we meet Alex and Arthur, we have make it an hour earlier. Now, it's getting worse. Though I cannot really blame them as it was raining. BUT, before the rain started, they could have met up with us already. They went to withdraw money. !!!!!

Why am I angry that they are withdrawing money? lol. Look, I told them about today's outing way before hand. The train station has an ATM. Why did they walk out of the station then they realised they had no money with them??? No sense of time.

They went to Funan IT Mall to withdraw their money (it was pouring by then). They didn't want to come back as it was raining. So they ate Swensens there instead. WOW! Did they have the decency to at least sms/call us to tell us they'll be eating? NO!

The good thing is, the 3 of us were smart enough to order finger food and drinks to eat. Both of them are guys/boys, no sense of responsibility? Not even a little bit? I really pity Fas.

Though we met up, but somehow I felt we wasted that public holiday away doing nothing.

Next,

I went on board today. EM (my attachment partner) and I went on board with two other surveyors. We learnt what we can never learn in school. Went into the engine room, bridge, took a look at the life boats. This boat is really old. Built in 1962. 40++ yrs! Woah. It's a passenger ship. It sails to no where. Meaning, it'll sail out and around S'pore.. mainly to facilitate people who wants to gamble. The C/O took us to the casino. It's really small. haha. Nothing compared to the big and nice ones we see on television. hahaha.

I hope our Dep. Dir will bring us to bigger ships! Like the bulk carrier, container ships or even the VLCC (very large crude carrier)! I really hope I can go there. haha.

The crews on board were very scared at first, of us. We are the authority and we can detain their ship if we find that the ship does not comply with the regulations and stuff. We wanted to see the 10 mandatory certificates, the agent took it with him. The Master of the ship quickly called the agent and tell him that the Port State Inspectors want to see them! The agent 'flew' back and passed it to us. hahaha.

We went to check the engine room. It was so noisy! No wonder engineers (at least for marine engineers) are quite deaf. haha. They were suppose to open and close the watertight doors. One of the doors could close, but it took quite a long time to open. They got all tensed up and said, "I'll call the bridge and ask them to open it.. Wait wait."

We went up and took a look at the life boats. Wow, one life boat can take up to 70 people! It's very funny. I took a picture, I'll post it up later. They actually drew semi-circles for the butts. haha..

Back to the Master's room. They served us juice. haha. Our surveyors was quite relaxed by now, the crews were relaxed too. hahah. They passed all the criterias. Except for the emergency engine part, it was spoiled and they are waiting for the company to order the spare parts. The company always delay in ordering because these parts can be very expensive.

We didn't wanna write it down, but the Master told us that we better write it down in the report. He said, "I asked the company to order for us already... But they always say aiya, wait wait... very expensive... Better write, better write." hahah! They want us to write so that the spare parts would come very fast. Because we're the government! haha. Government write letter, the company scared leh. haha. We said okay, we'll write. Then the Master said, "Ok ok, good. You write, then company will order very fast." --- All of them spoke in a foreign accent. I kinda like it. haha. Very cute! Esp the C/E. =DD -drools-

That's all for the surveying of ships. I think I'll be surveying for the next two days. haha. I want bigger ships! =D

Camp meeting tonight, Driving tomorrow, Cell on Thursday and Tennis on Friday. PACKED! =))

Oh ya, I'll be quitting tennis in a month's time. My dad says he wants us to stop because he's not training us to become pros. haha. He says as long as I've learnt the basics, I won't forget. It's just that you'll need longer warm-up time. hahaha.

Next,

"sorry seems to be the hardest word."

I heard this sentence over a song on the radio the other day. I feel that it no longer stands true though. 'Sorry' is so commonly used that it doesn't hold anymore meaning.

Does people still know the meaning of 'sorry'?

Saying sorry doesn't only mean feel bad over it, but also stop doing what you've done. I will only say sorry (the more serious ones) to those I love. What for I say sorry to a stranger? It hurt him/her, but does it concern me? haha. It's just me lar.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying if I step a person's foot I would just ignore and walk away lar! That's basic manners. I have it ok! lol. =D

Next,

Some people can be soooooooooo........... childish. It's not that I'm very matured. It's time you stop living in your own world. ARRGH! I can't stand it anymore. (And please don't ask me to sit!!! grr. I'm angry okayy... tsk.) Almost everyone thinks you need time to grow up. Don't talk to me about this topic if you disagree.

I know who will agree... hahahha. the ex-ballerina. lol! =D

Goodbye!

Advertisements..

2006-04-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

My mom told me something the other day. She said when I was a little kid, I loved advertisements. hahah. Everyone else would be doing their own stuff and when the show comes on, they'll be back. But I'm the other way round. I'll only come back when advertisements start. Am I weird? I thought so too. hahha.

This was what I could think of today.. to blog.

I'll be going on board a passenger ship next week! EM and I just went to get our passes today. Our boss' boss told one of the suveyor to bring us on board to look at how they actually survey the ship. I'll tell you all if it's cool, if it comes true la. lol.

Oh, I know what to blog already! hahhaha.

In a short span of about... hmmm.. 5 minutes, two people asked me, "how's life?"

I gave them the same answer, "boring, same old charlene.." hahahha.

But what do you expect me to answer? It's like so general. Of cause we carried on chatting lar. Duh.

Nothing to blog. Maybe I should get a tag board. I'm lazy, how? Lazy girl is coming.. to town. Die, I'm getting cranky..

I'll always get cranky or full of energy just before I knock out. I don't know why too. Why? Will someone explain to me? I've been like that since I was a kid.

Aiya, talking nonsense. Bye!

Love is in the air.

2006-04-26T12:15:00.000+08:00

Correction: Quarrel is in the air.

Not much comments to make. Friendship is such a headache. There will be endless quarrels, not that I can do anything about it. hmmm.

It's hard to let go, I know. It's not that I like to, but I have to. If it's going no where, what can I do about it? It's not like I can change the situation. hmmm.

Once your best friend, now becomes your normal friend. (p/s: I'm not talking about myself.) =)
----------------

There's no one coming to my blog. Maybe I should stop blogging. What for? No one sees it anyway. People are too lazy to even pick a fight with me.
----------------

I came 'back', however I don't feel at home anymore. I left 'home' in search for my 'happiness', I failed and came 'back'.. But... It's okay.

It's my fault in the first place.

Maybe I should leave. Even if I don't, will the distance be as far as ever?
----------------

I wanna get my pay soon. I wanna buy a lot of things.

- stainless steel ring
- dress
- birks

What else? These are my WANTS. lalala.

It's lunch soon, I'm quite hungry. heh.

Should I get a mp3 soon? I'm thinking of getting ipod mini. I've considered about nano, I don't think the price I have to pay for is giving me the quality I deserve. The max is only 2Gig. Nano can store pictures, but if the memory is gonna be so small, what pictures can I store?! I'll KIV first.
----------------

Char says bye.

Youth Grp, Christening Ceremony & Driving.

2006-04-20T10:52:00.001+08:00

Hope MQ's fine now. =)

I was too busy with work that I didn't have the time to blog yesterday. Though I had that little time to read blog hop. hohoho. I'm so glad that I have internet access. My other IA didn't have internet access as his job scope didn't require him to have it.

I'm comfortably sipping my tea and dipping my biscuits in it. My manager is in a meeting, hence, I have nothing to do! =)
------------------

I cannot agree more when Uncle Hong Aik (UHA) said that we (youths in church) need a core group (leaders). Not to mention the parents of the new coming youths, even me, I don't know who to look for when events come up and stuff.

The people in-charge are always the people organising whichever activities. But the people who organises the activities always changes! There's no permanent person that kinda thing?

We are a youth group, so the youths will have to run it.

Sarah will be sending out an email to the youths saying, whoever is interested in the youth, do come to my place this Sunday. The response might be good. But I was thinking, who will be the real ones willing to commit in the long run?

Frankly speaking, I'm not really encouraging those Tab and below to come forward. Before you say anything, listen to what I have to say first, will you?

I know Tab and some youths are very hyper about doing things for the youth group. However, this core group should consist of people that manages the youth group - managing level (ML). The rest who are not in it, are in the operational level (OL). Everyone still has to play a part.

Now coming to main question: Why am I not encouraging the younger ones to come?
Answer: It's not that the younger ones are not capable enough. In fact they might be more capable than the older ones! It's just that, they will get their turn when we (older ones) step down from the ML. It is also very true when UHA said that the younger ones will not think as far as the older ones would. Like maybe the older ones will take notice of details the younger ones won't.

To be more blunt, the younger ones want fun. It is not wrong to have fun. Lan is fun, but is it beneficial in the long run? Do you call that real fellowship? I don't really know how to play, but what I see them conversing in it are : 'bra centre', 'all come back to base', 'wa lao der!', 'help', 'heal me char'. And I will just be asking the person beside me, 'eh, what to buy next ar?', 'when i reach how much then i can buy the next thing?'

Is that all that you wanna communicate with each other?

As youths from church, don't we want to prove to the outside world that we're different from those non-believers? We should be influencing others rather than get influenced.

p/s: I'm not saying all these to show that I'm so angelic or whatsoever. I'm just voicing out since no one would. I do make mistakes, sometimes I would choose fun over having DG too. If anyone were to get angry, I don't know what to say.

For example,

Me: Why are you so stupid, never think of it!
You: You very clever meh! blah blah blah..
In this situation, I deserve to be scolded. Like, who am I to tell others that they are stupid?

BUT if it's like this,

Me: Why are we so stupid, never think of it!
You: You very clever meh! blah blah blah.
In this situation, I don't think I deserve to be scolded? Do I? When I say the youth group, am I not part of the youth? If you tell me I'm not, okay, you can scold me for criticising the youth.

Aiya, I don't even know you guys understand or not. Never mind, at least I take something off my chest. Actually I don't have to explain so much, I just have to say my piece. I'm not scolding anyway. Just bringing it up. However, there will be KIDS in the cyberspace who will misinterpret my words. Grrr.
----------------------

On a happy note, I'm having cell tonight at Tab's place! It's so far, but I don't mind going. haha. Actually travelling is not a problem for me, since I like to stone.

Hope we have fun! =D
----------------------

I went to a christening ceremony of a ship the day before yesterday. It was nothing grand, I just had the chance to go on board a small ship. I went into the engine room, saw the compressor, generator and stuff. I knocked my head against a pipe! I'm having this small bump on my head. Lol.

They have a lounge and a gallery (eatery). It's quite nice okay! I wonder if it's nice because it's a brand new ship? haha. I guess so. I saw a few crews eating at the gallery. The food they were eating, yummy! Looks nice. It's western. heh.

The vice-president of Hong Leong Finance came to talk to my friend and I. It's a lady! I inspire to be like her! haha. As I was there, the lady managers looked better than the men! haha. I think it's because I'm quite sick of looking at guys in their formal wear. Like, it's all over the street. The ladies, woah! I wanna be able to wear like them too! =D

Best if I can open my own shipping company. Lol. Okay, I'm thinking a little too far. But it's not that bad to have goals what! Er, maybe not goals... ambitions! Don't you love to talk about ambitions when you were in primary school? hahah.

The girls will want to be models, air stewardesses, teachers, nurses etc. haha! The boys will want to be doctors, policemen, lawyers and such. Familiar? Lol. =D

Ooooh, I've digressed so much.

Basically, there's nothing much la. Yup. After that went to Christabel's house. There was when I wanted to blog about the youths thing. heh.
No offence by the way for the top part.

I'm waiting for lunch time! I'm so hungry! I need to take passport sized photos for my pass to go on board ship to survey/inspect the ship and also my driving.
--------------------------

Driving.

Should I take it now, since I'm practically doing the same old stuff everyday. I reckoned that when school re-opens, I will not have the heart to go and take my license. I would wanna go out with my school friends. Lol. I can drive to school if my dad goes overseas to work! hahah. That's if my mom allows me to take over the car. hahaha.

That's about all lar.

Long post, eh?

Bye! Take good care of yourselves! =DD

Char

Good Friday.

2006-04-17T12:39:00.000+08:00

Had a stay over at PM on Thursday night. The games Tab and I organise was okay. The more fun ones were cancelled (boo!) due to unforseen circumstances. It's okay, we'll KIV it till we find a better time and place to carry out that activity! =)

Woody and JL came along to stay. I hope they enjoyed their stay there. heh.

The youths have been jamming in church. Nice! =DD I wish I have a guy's voice. So I can sing 'Tell the World'! Grr. I want the Tab aka monkey to play the drums! I took a video and some pictures of her, I'll load it up soon. heh! She really looks like a MONKEY. Shit, did I just got myself into DEEP DEEP trouble? =(( Ah, who cares.. LOL!

The 'presented' an item on Easter Day, it was okay. I can't really tell because I didn't really hear the overall. I was too busy looking after myself! Making sure I don't sing the verse/chorus at the wrong time! I know if I did, Tab will kill me. Lol.
---------------------

Bryan, don't be sad. Let nature take its course. =) Smile ok? I doubt you'll smile lar, you're perpetually having 'hangovers'. Lol!
---------------------

Back to work now, hmm. I shall find a place where I can store my photos. I'm too lazy to use Picasa to upload them. Tinypic, nah, I can't choose the size.

Never mind if you guys don't know what I'm talking about.
---------------------

Have I grown that much that I scare some people? Not physically of cause. Hmmm. Heh. So is it a good sign or not? Well, I'm taking it positively though. haha! I guess my 'growth' didn't just happen overnight, it's just those people haven't been talking to me! haha! Hmph, neglect me lorrr...

I forgot what I wanted to blog. Dang.

Camp meeting's up at Christabel's house on Tuesday, 7.45pm at Tiong Bahru Station!
When I heard the name of the station, I felt a little weird though. It was a station I used to frequent, but not anymore. I get that kinda weird feeling. I guess it's the kinda feeling when you hear something you're familiar with... I don't know..

Anyhow, I'm looking forward to meeting... EVERYONE! =DD
------------------
Min has been asking me out, but her dates never seem to match with mine! Min Min!!! It's okay, we'll look for nice day. Or a nice saturday. haha.

It's gonna be lunch soon. I'm not that hungry. My stomach's feeling a little weird though. hmm.

Enjoy your new semester for those who'd just gone back to school! -cheers-!

* Puma Bag =D

* A little something I bought for Joce's birthday. heh.

I've got a question, how do I make the pictures that come out of photobucket be the same size ar? Handphone images are always so big! Anyone knows?

Char

Bra's birthday and my Puma bag.

2006-04-13T17:11:00.000+08:00

Yes! I bought my Puma bag!! Well, it isn't by me. That Wood bought it for me. haha.
I got scolded okay! I refused really hard. I did! BUT, I got scolded.

So... Thanks Woody! lol. In exchange I bought something too okay. I chipped in for his Adidas Jacket. Bahh.

I liked it! The size is just right. heh. I like! He wanted to buy it secretly for me, since I liked it so much. But he figured out that I praised another similar bag too. So he didn't know which one to get for me. Therefore he skipped that idea.
------------------

Bra's birthday!

It was nothing big. We just had steamboat at Marina Bay.

After that, we cut the cake. Bra was made to bite the candle with his mouth. Der went to light the end. He was suppose to look like he's smoking. haha. I'll post it up if I have the picture. It's with Nat.

I threw prawn in the guys' soup. Most of them didn't like prawns. But Bra said it a second too late! I let go of the prawn already... It wasn't on purpose though. After that Bra told me Roy was allergic to prawns. I know he's allergic, but sometimes he still eats it what. How I know..

According to what I know, he doesn't detest prawns like the way he did last night. Ah, whatever.

We all went home in Der's car. Shouldn't have squeezed in two little monkeys. Sooo noisy! I can't even hear what song was playing on Joce's MP3!
---------------

I'm so looking forward to tonight's activities! I hope they'll be spontaneous enough to play the games Tab and I planned. hee.

I'm going off now!

Stupid Q&A

2006-04-12T09:29:00.000+08:00

Recently, people have been asking me stupid questions.
Recently, people have been giving me stupid answers.

Arrgh!

Senerio One.

Me: Tab, how do squids give birth?

(looks at me with this weird look)
-raised her eyebrows-

Tab: Have sex.

-.-''

We all burst out laughing.
Well, she's wrong. hahha. Squids don't have sex! They give birth like fishes! Not guppies.

Senerio Two.

Poly attachment partner: How do you pronounce Singaporean?

Me: Er..... Singaporean?

-.-''

What's wrong with everyone?!
----------------

Meeting up with Bra and the rest to celebrate his birthday. haha. So old. tsk tsk.
Didn't manage to get his present yesterday because we couldn't find anything suitable. Bummer.
---------------

The irritating Wood got his Adidas Jacket yesterday. Dang. Where's mine?!!?!?! I want it!

Perhaps the next pay or something.

I saw a Puma slightly-bigger-than-a-handbag bag (arrgh, what am I saying. lol). I liked it so much! I guess it's gonna be like the previous bag. I regretted not buying the previous one. I regretted it! bahh. I told myself if I really liked on bag, I'll get it on the spot.

I didn't. The price was too steep. Bahh.

Whoosh~